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Some people opine that damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of the improvement in the standard of living. v.1

Some people opine that damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of the improvement in the standard of living. v. 1
The improvement of people's living standard owes too much to the rapid development of science and technology. However, people nowadays are confronted with so many problems, such as the deterioration of the environment, air pollution and the explosive expansion of population. Some people claim that the damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of economic development. From my point of view, this is only an excuse for the ignorance of environmental protection. In order to make more profit, some manufacturers and factories are only keen on the pursuit of profits, caring nothing about the protection of the environment and the recycling of waste water. For example, about fifty percent of people in Shenzhen possess a private car, and the ownership is increasing by 7, 000 each month. The exhaust gas and irritating noise impair people's health greatly. The prosperity of economy is obtained at the cost of people's health and the damage to the environment. The lack of awareness of environmental protection is another factor causing harms to the environment. Some near-sighted local governments are only concerned about economic development but pay very little attention to environmental protection, misunderstanding the economic development says for their achievements and that environmental protection only cost money. If people and the authorities concerned have a long-term developing perspective, I think the damages to the environment is avoidable. Along with the development of technology and people's living standard, the government should take effective measures to handle the problems arising. Meanwhile, the manufacturers and factory owners should consider not only economic profit but also social benefits. If the government and people can join hands in solving the environmental problems, we will enjoy an azure sky and flower fragrance in the near future.
The improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
living standard owes too much to the rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of science and technology.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays
are confronted
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems, such as the deterioration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, air pollution and the explosive expansion of population.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that the damage to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is an inevitable consequence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. From my point of view, this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
an excuse for the ignorance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection.

In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more profit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
manufacturers and factories are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
keen on the pursuit of profits, caring nothing about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and the recycling of waste water.
For example
, about fifty percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Shenzhen possess a private car, and the ownership is increasing by 7, 000 each month. The exhaust gas and irritating noise impair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
health
greatly
. The prosperity of economy
is obtained
at the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
health and the damage to the environment.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
lack of awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
is another factor causing harms to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
near-sighted local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
concerned about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
, misunderstanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
says for their achievements and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
cost money.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the authorities concerned have a long-term developing perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the damages to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is avoidable. Along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
living standard, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take effective measures to handle the problems arising. Meanwhile, the manufacturers and factory owners should consider not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
profit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
social benefits. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands in solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems, we will enjoy an azure sky and flower fragrance in the near future.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people opine that damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of the improvement in the standard of living. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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