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some businesses find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as cooperative skills. what are the causes? suggest possible solutions. v.1

some businesses find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as cooperative skills. what are the causes? suggest possible solutions. v. 1
At the moment, it is commonly believed that when new employees join any organisation they cannot get along well with others because of their inefficiency in collaboration skills. This situation occurs due to ineffective training programmes and education system. Mainly these two factors are to be blamed for this. However, it is not a matter of concern if the team is made part of the curriculum as well as employee induction programme. A Major factor behind the lack of interpersonal skills among new workers is due to fruitless education sector and inept training offered by the government. By this I mean that the most of the educational institutes concentrate on improving the academic ability of the pupils rather than focusing on teamwork. As a result, students are unaware of the concepts and significance of cooperation and combined efforts. In addition to it, many companies fail to train their potential employees such skills which shows the outcome as new joiners are lacking in cooperative skills. Though the above problems are prevalent, they can be overcome by encouraging sports in academics and interpersonal skills develop training in organisations. Through sports, students can learn how to be cooperative and understand the significance of group efforts. Nurturing these values from a young age will help them when they join firms. Moreover, companies may also conduct training programmes for new recruits on team endeavour. To exemplify, if a sample project is assigned to a group as part of training employees will not only develop their technical skills but also realise the values of group work. To conclude, new employees lack of interpersonal skills because schools and companies neglect the importance of developing personality traits. In tackling this, sports should be made a part of the curriculum and organisation should arrange training sessions.
At the moment, it is
commonly
believed that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
any
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along well with others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their inefficiency in collaboration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. This situation occurs due to ineffective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and education system.
Mainly
these two factors are to
be blamed
for this.
However
, it is not a matter of concern if the team
is made
part of the curriculum
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
induction
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
.

A Major factor behind the lack of interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
workers is due to fruitless education sector and inept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
offered by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. By this I mean that the most of the educational institutes concentrate on improving the academic ability of the pupils
rather
than focusing on teamwork.
As a result
, students are unaware of the concepts and significance of cooperation and combined efforts.
In addition
to it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
fail to train their potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the outcome as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
joiners are lacking in cooperative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Though the above problems are prevalent, they can
be overcome
by encouraging sports in academics and interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. Through sports, students can learn how to be cooperative and understand the significance of group efforts. Nurturing these values from a young age will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
firms.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may
also
conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
recruits on team
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
. To exemplify, if a sample project
is assigned
to a group as part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
develop their technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the values of group work.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
lack of interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
schools and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
neglect the importance of developing personality traits. In tackling this, sports should
be made
a part of the curriculum and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
should arrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
sessions.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay some businesses find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as cooperative skills. what are the causes? suggest possible solutions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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