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Some people think that secondary or high school students should be taught how to use money management as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Some people think that secondary or high school students should be taught how to use money management as it is an important life skill. v. 1
In the modern world, achieving a high quality of life does not seem possible without financial literacy. It has proven to be one of the most vital skills for living a secure life amidst a plethora of economic opportunities and ever growing consumerism. It is therefore considered by many that money management should be learnt as early on as in high school, which I completely agree with. Not only does personal finance education provide students with an immediate plan for the future, but it also fosters the development of solid financial habits. First, having been taught the fundamentals of budgeting, saving, debt and investing, students are able to make smart financial decisions, whether they continue studying or start work. For instance, a student who aspires to complete a degree while not being able to afford it, can learn about various ways to pay for colleges, begin to put money aside and finally land with a viable solution. In addition, financial literacy means becoming aware of the dangers of credit cards and high interest rates, which is critical when taking out a loan. Overall, students who gain financial awareness are highly likely to set clear goals and make financial progress upon leaving school. Second, high school students gradually form a careful attitude towards money, managing their personal finances more wisely later in life. To illustrate, a course in money management forces students to analyze their spendings, create budgets as well as an emergency fund, which inevitably leads to a thorough understanding of their financial situation. As a result, students ensure they reduce financial pressure and avoid painful consequences in the future. In conclusion, financial education plays a major role in peoples' lives, often meaning the difference between prosperity and poverty. Considering the importance of financial issues, it is believed that finance education belongs in high schools. The sooner children start caring about their personal finance, the more chances they have to succeed as adults.
In the modern world, achieving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
quality of life does not seem possible without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
literacy. It has proven to be one of the most vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for living a secure life amidst a plethora of economic opportunities and ever growing consumerism. It is
therefore
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
as early on as in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school, which I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finance
education provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with an immediate plan for the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
fosters the development of solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
habits.

First
, having
been taught
the fundamentals of budgeting, saving, debt and investing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
decisions, whether they continue studying or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
work.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who aspires to complete a degree while not being able to afford it, can learn about various ways to pay for colleges,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
aside and
finally
land with a viable solution.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
literacy means becoming aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of credit cards and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
interest rates, which is critical when taking out a loan.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
awareness are
highly
likely to set
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
goals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
progress upon leaving school.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gradually
form a careful attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, managing their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finances
more
wisely
later in life. To illustrate, a course in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to analyze their
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings
, create budgets
as well
as an emergency fund, which
inevitably
leads to a thorough understanding of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
situation.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ensure they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
pressure and avoid painful consequences in the future.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
education plays a major role in peoples'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
meaning the difference between prosperity and poverty. Considering the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
issues, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finance
education belongs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
schools. The sooner children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
caring about their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finance
, the more chances they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
succeed as adults.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that secondary or high school students should be taught how to use money management as it is an important life skill. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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