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some believe that morden technology has made people less socially active, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

some believe that morden technology has made people less socially active, while others disagree. v. 2
In this fastest world, there are pleanty of technologies which are currently available in the market and people are using it including for social activities. But some people are deniying and their thougth is very minimal activities for society. This is the coin which one head or tail. I am of the opinion who is going to debate this matter before any conclusion can be drawn. This is coin on the head side, in 50 years before, there are no technology and people who had a good relationship with everyone and the best part is all are known everyone problems and helped to resloved this without any expectation. Also, most of them lived as joined families and their parents and grand parents who motivated people to do social activities. For instance, in 1947, india got freedom in order to people involved in social activities and strikes to get it and finally they have achieved. This coin is now flip side on tail, however, people are using smartphones and internet to get information very fastly and who they can get any informations and any problems with in a minute on their phone or system. People who intracted plethora of social activities using facebook and Whatsapp. For example, In Kerala who affected with natural disaster flood in order to this many people who got injured and people posted their problems on facebook and whatspp due to that rescue teams who came early and recovered many people and they got the donation from all over the world. To conclude this, compare to order people and current people who are all using technologies on the right directions for social activities. Also, government responsible to provide awareness how to use gadgets for social activities.
In this fastest world, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
pleanty
of technologies which are
currently
available in the market and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using it including for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
deniying
and their
Possible spelling mistake found.
thougth
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for society. This is the coin which one head or tail. I am of the opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is going to debate this matter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any conclusion can
be drawn
.

This is coin on the head side, in 50 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, there are no technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with everyone and the best part is all
are known
everyone problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
resloved
this without any expectation.
Also
, most of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
families and their parents and grand parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For instance
, in 1947,
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
freedom in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and strikes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it and
finally
they have achieved.

This coin is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
flip side on tail,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using smartphones and internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastly
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
and any problems with in a minute on their phone or system.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
intracted
plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
using
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
.
For example
, In Kerala
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
with natural disaster flood in order to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
injured and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
posted their problems on
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatspp
due to that rescue teams
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
came early and recovered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the donation from all over the world.

To conclude
this, compare to order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are all using technologies on the right directions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
responsible to provide awareness how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
gadgets for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay some believe that morden technology has made people less socially active, while others disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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