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Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people while others disagree Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people while others disagree 1
In recent decades, private healthcare services have been receiving a great deal of public attention due to its necessity. Although this trend is not without advantages, the disadvantages will be far overshadowed. On the one hand, the benefits that we reap from these health services are substantial. First, in order to share responsibilities with state-owned healthcare institutions in taking care of the public's health, private health care is one of the best ways to do it. For example, it can help to reduce the pressure on state-owned healthcare institutions in terms of overload of patients and finance. Second, if people choose to pay for private healthcare services, they can experience many benefits. This means that they can enjoy the quality and speed of treatments, short waiting list for examinations and operations. On the other hand, while there are a number of benefits to private health care, there are also a number of drawbacks. First, private healthcare insurance is very costly, and many people simply cannot afford it. Plenty of evidence suggests that private healthcare insurance is usually paid on a monthly basis, whether you use the system or not, which end results in many people paying thousands of dollars each year for private health care but could never use the facilities or services. Second, by using these healthcare services, it can be intricate to control the treatment process in private hospitals. For instance, unnecessary tests are performed to raise the cost of treatment and earning for unethical doctors. In conclusion, while private hospitals truly reduce the pressure on government-owned hospitals regarding the overload of patients, the profit-yielding healthcare system may put even a greater burden on its clients because of its extravagant cost of treatment. Therefore, I believe its disadvantage can outweigh the advantage.
In recent decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
have been receiving a great deal of public attention due to its necessity. Although this trend is not without advantages, the disadvantages will be far overshadowed.

On the one hand, the benefits that we reap from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are substantial.
First
, in order to share responsibilities with state-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
healthcare institutions in taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the public's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is one of the best ways to do it.
For example
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure on state-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
healthcare institutions in terms of overload of patients and finance. Second, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, they can experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits. This means that they can enjoy the quality and speed of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
, short waiting list for examinations and operations.

On the other hand
, while there are a number of benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, there are
also
a number of drawbacks.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
healthcare insurance is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
simply
cannot afford it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Plenty
of evidence suggests that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
healthcare insurance is
usually
paid on a monthly basis, whether you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the system or not, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
paying thousands of dollars each year for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the facilities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. Second, by using these healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, it can be intricate to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
process in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
hospitals.
For instance
, unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
are performed
to raise the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
and earning for unethical doctors.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
hospitals
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
hospitals regarding the overload of patients, the profit-yielding healthcare system may put even a greater burden on its clients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its extravagant cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
.
Therefore
, I believe its disadvantage can outweigh the advantage.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people while others disagree 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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