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Nowadays more and more people prefer to buy fashionable clothes. Does this have positive or negative effect. Give reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Nowadays more and more people prefer to buy fashionable clothes. Does this have positive or negative effect. Give reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
No one can deny the fact that some experts argue that primary school is better for students to start learning a second language than doing it at higher grades. In my opinion, this will carry more benefits for the youngsters when they learn more advanced subjects and learning abroad compared to the minor problems it might bring. To begin with, according to child psychology, the child's brain has the ability to grasp more linguistic features than that of adults. This means, when they teach a second expression in early stages, they are able to be proficient with it before moving up in the ladder. Besides, that would help them focus more on learning other demanding subjects as they do not need extra effort to learn a new voice. Some of the schools in Sri Lanka, for instance, have started teaching English from grade one, and some parents claim that their child is making good progress in all the subjects. Teachers have identified this is because these children are able to understand the subject matters more quickly as they are not busy with learning a new phrase. In addition, this trend will put a strong foundation for children to learn abroad once they pass out of schools. In other words, since they are able to deal with another speech, they could start their higher education in a different country without spending time on breaking the style barrier. Moreover, this will help them blend with the locals which is inevitable when it comes to social survival in a different geographical location. For example, students in Singapore often apply for the universities in Spain, but they spend six months to learn Spanish as they are not taught the sound at primary schools. It is evident that these students do not gain the vocabulary at the same pace as children in primary schools do. On the other hand, some schools do not have primary school teachers to teach a foreign style. This is because governments have not identified the importance of teaching languages in the early grades; so that many schools in the countryside have problems in conducting these subjects. Therefore, having this kind of minor problems might cause problems for some portion of children in a country. In conclusion, even though there may have schools which do not have the resources to teach languages which would pave the way to separate children from exploring the horizons of knowledge, disadvantages of this trend is far more eclipsed by the advantages such as allowing children to focus more on learning demanding subjects.
No one can deny the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is better for students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a second language than doing it at higher grades. In my opinion, this will carry more benefits for the youngsters when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
abroad compared to the minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
it might bring.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, according to child psychology, the child's brain has the ability to grasp more linguistic features than that of adults. This means, when they teach a second expression in early stages, they are able to be proficient with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
moving up in the ladder.
Besides
, that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
other demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as they do not need extra effort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a new voice.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in Sri Lanka,
for instance
, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
teaching English from grade one, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents claim that their child is making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
progress in all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Teachers have identified this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are able to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
matters more
quickly
as they are not busy with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a new phrase.

In addition
, this trend will put a strong foundation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
abroad once they pass out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
In other words
, since they are able to deal with another speech, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their higher education in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country without spending time on breaking the style barrier.
Moreover
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them blend with the locals which is inevitable when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to social survival in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
geographical location.
For example
, students in Singapore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
apply for the universities in Spain,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they spend six months to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
Spanish as they are not taught the sound at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. It is evident that these students do not gain the vocabulary at the same pace as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teachers to teach a foreign style. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have not identified the importance of teaching languages in the early grades;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in the countryside have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in conducting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Therefore
, having this kind of minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
might cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a country.

In conclusion
,
even though
there may have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which do not have the resources to teach languages which would pave the way to separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from exploring the horizons of knowledge, disadvantages of this trend is far more eclipsed by the advantages such as allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more people prefer to buy fashionable clothes. Does this have positive or negative effect. Give reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
427 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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