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Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is argued that the advancement of technology leads people to a complicated lifestyle. Hence, it is suggested that the technology should be eliminated to make our lives become more straightforward. From my point of view, I totally disagree that people have to turn away from modern technology, because technology actually has been beneficial in terms of making human life more practical and convenient, particularly related to connecting with other people all over the world and medical treatments. To commence with, it is undeniable that the invention of technology has influenced the way people connect to others worldwide. Thanks to smartphone, internet access and electricity that allow us to link with our relatives who live on the other sides of the earth in no time and without being present directly. For example, many people are using an online media, such as zoom, skype and google meet to associate with their families and friends during covid-19 pandemic, where people have to stay at their own home to prevent the spread of the virus. Then, furthermore, the development of technology has also improved the medical sectors, and it has been proven that advanced medical technology has positive impacts on human life. By applying modern technology for healthcare systems, people can increase the ability to detect and cure a disease. Take for an instance, the discovery of vaccines for specific virus can be accomplished more quickly and relatively safer, so people might have a higher chance of getting a healthier life. To sum up, according to aforesaid argument, without a doubt that a technological innovation has enormous benefits for human life, substantially technology plays a crucial role in social communications and healthcare systems. Although sometimes technology can be harmful to our lives, the advantages outweigh the downsides. Therefore, I firmly oppose the argument that people should live without the technology to lead more fulfilling lives, and I suggest that we should utilize the technology wisely so we can reduce and prevent cyber threats and other detrimental sides of technology.
It
is argued
that the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to a complicated lifestyle.
Hence
, it
is suggested
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should
be eliminated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
become more straightforward. From my point of view, I
totally
disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
turn away from modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
actually has been beneficial in terms of making human life more practical and convenient,
particularly
related to connecting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world and medical treatments.

To commence with, it is undeniable that the invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has influenced the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connect to others worldwide. Thanks to smartphone, internet access and electricity that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to link with our relatives who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sides of the earth in no time and without being present
directly
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using an online media, such as zoom, skype and google
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
to associate with their families and friends during
Did you mean “COVID-19” or the alternative spelling “Covid-19” (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
pandemic, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the spread of the virus.

Then,
furthermore
, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the medical sectors, and it has
been proven
that advanced medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on human life. By applying modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for healthcare systems,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can increase the ability to detect and cure a disease. Take for an instance, the discovery of vaccines for specific virus can
be accomplished
more
quickly
and
relatively
safer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might have a higher chance of getting a healthier life.

To sum up, according to aforesaid argument, without a doubt that a technological innovation has enormous benefits for human life,
substantially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a crucial role in social communications and healthcare systems. Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be harmful to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, the advantages outweigh the downsides.
Therefore
, I
firmly
oppose the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to lead more fulfilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, and I suggest that we should utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
wisely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
cyber threats and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
detrimental sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
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IELTS essay Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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