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Some people think technology makes life complex, so we should make life simpler without using technology. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think technology makes life complex, so we should make life simpler without using technology. v. 1
There is no denying of the fact that for some people technology made life harder specially old people, although this is not he case for others. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement and I believe modern ways made growth more comfortable. In this essay, I will examine how machinery has affected the lives and will provide necessary illustration. To begin with, Modern Instruments made life much liveable and enjoyable, there are a plethora of examples for the same. In other words, with the help of gadgets complex jobs can easily be performed. For example, Amul recently produced 100 thousand of dairy products which included manufacturing and packaging, it was done with the help of machines and in just 2 weeks. As a result, production these days are much easier and numerous types of products are available in the market. On the other hand, older generation find it hard to cope up with the technological advancements, what I mean is, as they new to this technology and they are familiar with orthodox ways, it is harder for them to use modern tech. For instance, my grandfather finds it really hard to use mobile phone and he often gets lost in the apps. Consequently, aged people criticize the machinery and believe it just makes life complex. To conclude, technology is definitely shaping how the world works. Younger people admire the automation and opines that it made life happier, while elders thinks it just problems are just replace and are not solved. However, I think if elder people take initiative and try to learn the aspects they will also agree that technology is a boon to humankind.
There is no denying of the fact that for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
harder
specially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, although this is not he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "cases", "cased".
case
for others. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement and I believe modern ways made growth more comfortable. In this essay, I will examine how machinery has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and will provide necessary illustration.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Modern Instruments made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
much liveable and enjoyable, there are a plethora of examples for the same.
In other words
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of gadgets complex jobs can
easily
be performed
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amul
recently produced 100 thousand of dairy products which included manufacturing and packaging, it
was done
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of machines and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
2 weeks.
As a result
, production these days are much easier and numerous types of products are available in the market.

On the other hand
, older generation find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to cope up with the technological advancements, what I mean is, as they
Did you mean "knew" (past of 'to know')?
new
to this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
technology and
they are familiar with orthodox ways, it is harder for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modern tech.
For instance
, my grandfather finds it
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
phone and
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
lost in the apps.
Consequently
, aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
criticize the machinery and believe it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
complex.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is definitely shaping how the world works. Younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
admire the automation and opines that it made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
happier, while elders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
problems are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
replace and are not solved.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take initiative and try to learn the aspects they will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a boon to humankind.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think technology makes life complex, so we should make life simpler without using technology. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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