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Some believe elderly people should live in nursing homes, others think they should live with family members. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some believe elderly people should live in nursing homes, others think they should live with family members. v. 1
There have been increasing incidences of living in a nursing home in old people. Although some may believe that old people should choose to live in nursing homes, others still prefer keeping old people connected with their families with staying together. This essay will discuss why some masses prefer old people to live in nursing homes, but why it is entirely beneficial for older people to spend their last years of life. Most of all elderly feel extremely lonely in their life, so living in nursing homes with other elderly can help to reduce their loneliness. Young people stay busy with their work and study, but old age people usually do not have much to do because they are retired from work, as a result, they feel alone at home. To illustrate, a recent study revealed that 70% of older people always want a company to join to spend last years when they stop working. To put simply, living in a nursing home with other elderly greatly help them to overcome a lonely feeling. Despite, living in a nursing home can be indeed helpful for elderly folks; living with family can become a rare lifetime experience for them. If someone is living with the family they can enjoy time with grandson and granddaughter, moreover staying with their own son and daughter feels more connected. For example, most seniors prefer to utilize moments with their family because they feel very connected and have a lifetime experience with family members. Overall, people believe that life is only one time; so staying together with family can have a pleasurable experience. Staying with family and living in a nursing home has its own pros and cons. This essay reviewed why some people argued that older people should live in a nursing home, but why others believe old age should always stay with family. As a contradiction of sorts, I assert retired people must stay with their family and enjoy their precious time with family members.
There have been increasing incidences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a nursing home in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, others
still
prefer keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connected with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
with staying together. This essay will discuss why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why it is
entirely
beneficial for older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend their last years of life.

Most of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
extremely
lonely in their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their loneliness. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay busy with their work and study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
do not have much to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are retired
from work,
as a result
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
alone at home. To illustrate, a recent study revealed that 70% of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always want a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
to spend last years when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
working. To put
simply
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a nursing home with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to overcome a lonely feeling.

Despite,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a nursing home can be
indeed
helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
folks;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can become a rare lifetime experience for them. If someone is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
they can enjoy time with grandson and granddaughter,
moreover
staying with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
son and daughter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feels
more connected.
For example
, most seniors prefer to utilize moments with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
connected and have a lifetime experience with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that life is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one time;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
staying together with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can have a pleasurable experience.

Staying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a nursing home has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons. This essay reviewed why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a nursing home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why others believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age should always stay with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. As a contradiction of sorts, I assert retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and enjoy their precious time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some believe elderly people should live in nursing homes, others think they should live with family members. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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