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Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? v.2

Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. with this? v. 2
With the advent of modern technology, the life of the human has improved in various ways. It has affected not only the professional working atmosphere, also the way of living of common men. Improvement in basic amenities has resulted in more comfortable and luxurious life. I completely agree with the aforesaid statement and will discuss same in detail in below mentioned paragraphs. To initiate with, updated household appliances results in reduced efforts and greater productivity. Resulting in providing a good time at the end to the household people to perform enormous other activities more productively and more efficiently. To illustrate, products like washing machine and microwave, has affected the time consumed in washing and cooking activities and results in less fatigue regular life. Not only, has the way of performing the chores improved to a greater extent, but also allowed multi-tasking to many. Besides, the benefits of getting advanced, there are few negative impacts of this practice also. Firstly, this is making the people more inclined towards laziness and less interested in manual jobs. Secondly, it impacts on the physical health of many a people and making them unfit and unhealthy. For an example, in earlier times, the people who work in traditional way were less obese and less prone to diseases, than today. But, an increase in the trend of working out at a gym is the solution for the problem arising as a result of embracing the updated technology. In conclusion, there is always some sacrifice to get some gain. By using such advanced appliances the people are being lazy and unhealthy. To be active should be the priority of the individuals and as such, should act wisely.
With the advent of modern technology, the life of the human has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in various ways. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the professional working atmosphere,
also
the way of living of common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Improvement in basic amenities has resulted in more comfortable and luxurious life. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the aforesaid statement and will discuss same in detail in below mentioned paragraphs.

To initiate with, updated household appliances results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
efforts and greater productivity. Resulting in providing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to the household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to perform enormous other activities more
productively
and more
efficiently
. To illustrate, products like washing machine and microwave, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the time consumed in washing and cooking activities and results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
fatigue regular life. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, has the way of performing the chores
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
to a greater extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
multi-tasking to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.

Besides
, the benefits of getting advanced, there are few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of this practice
also
.
Firstly
, this is making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more inclined towards laziness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
interested in manual jobs.
Secondly
, it impacts on the physical health of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and making them unfit and unhealthy. For an example, in earlier times, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work in traditional way were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
obese and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
prone to diseases, than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, an increase in the trend of working out at a gym is the solution for the problem arising
as a result
of embracing the updated technology.

In conclusion
, there is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sacrifice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gain. By using such advanced appliances the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being lazy and unhealthy. To be active should be the priority of the individuals and as such, should act
wisely
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. with this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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