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SHOULD GOVERNMENT REGULATE THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRIES IN THE SAME WAY THAT REGULATES THE DRUG, ALCOHOL AND TOBACCO INDUSTRIES v.1

SHOULD GOVERNMENT REGULATE THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRIES IN THE SAME WAY THAT REGULATES THE DRUG, ALCOHOL AND TOBACCO INDUSTRIES v. 1
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on whether government ban the fast food like the same way as the drug, alcohol and tobacco industries or not. I myself believe that the government should not harshly prevent the fast food as same as the drug, alcohol and tobacco industries. It is clear that fast food has an important role play in human life as well as the benefits of fast for the sociable purposes. Firstly, eating fast food is absolutely convenient, especially in terms of the people do not have time to cook and prepare. To be more specific, the fast food is immensely appealing in favour of the diversity of these industries, which makes many people easily choose their own favourite meal as well as the unnecessary time-consuming to cook. Therefore, those people do not have time and always bombard with a large of jobs that results in they can balance their works and the adequate nutrients for their health. Despite the drawbacks of fast food sometimes indirectly effect on some aspects of life, but fast food are not really dangerous like the drug, alcohol and tobacco impact on social. To be more clear, abuse of amount of fast food in the long period that leads to some diseases such as obesity, especially in the teenagers and offsprings generation. In contrast, the adverse devastating effects of using the drug, alcohol and tobacco that result in many people can not aware of their behaviours that lead to crime, violence, addiction. In conclusion, I believe that it is more beneficial for the government to adjust the laws to manage the fast food markets in the less strict ways than the drug, alcohol, and tobacco industries.
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has
been placed
on whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ban the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like the same way as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
industries or not. I myself believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not
harshly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as same as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
industries.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
role play
in human life
as well
as the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
for the sociable purposes.
Firstly
, eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
absolutely
convenient,
especially
in terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have time to cook and prepare. To be more specific, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
immensely
appealing in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the diversity of these industries, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
meal
as well
as the unnecessary time-consuming to cook.
Therefore
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have time and always bombard with a large of jobs that results in they can balance their works and the adequate nutrients for their health.

Despite the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
indirectly
effect on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are not
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
impact on social. To be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, abuse of amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the long period that leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases such as obesity,
especially
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
generation.
In contrast
, the adverse devastating effects of using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
that result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not aware of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
that lead to crime, violence, addiction.

In conclusion
, I believe that it is more beneficial for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to adjust the laws to manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
markets in the less strict ways than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
industries.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay SHOULD GOVERNMENT REGULATE THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRIES IN THE SAME WAY THAT REGULATES THE DRUG, ALCOHOL AND TOBACCO INDUSTRIES v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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