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Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. 2
Government jobs provide stability for its employees, therefore it is considered a dream job for all. While some believe that the government positions are not convenient for youth, Others whom I support think that could be a step towards the progressive. This essay will eliminate blew both opinions before drawing a conclusion. On the one hand, some convinced that taking a sensitive position in government couldn't be appropriate for young employees. Whereas they argue that some of the authority jobs could contain a senior level and it needs to have a decision-maker mentality. For example, in the military jobs, some of the leader's jobs should have enough experience to make decisions that have been acquired by the time in the other lowest levels to reach the high levels of the staff. Namely the more they transacted in small jobs, the more experience they will get. On the other side, taking opportunities to work in governmental positions, could be a great addition to the country improvement. For instance, youth has fresh new ideas and they can help with their creative development. Therefore, young workers able to carry serious responsibilities and could be productive in the progressive sector. To illustrate, if the authority gives chances to young individuals to take their jobs, it will benefit society by reducing the unemployment phenomenon and exploit the young workforce in the bucolic. I believe that authorities should give attention to the new graduates not only to push fresh blood in their organization structure but also to benefit from their modern ideas. Although the above look for both sides of the argument, it is felt that leadership positions are a right to the young candidates as well as the oldest.
Government
jobs
provide stability for its employees,
therefore
it
is considered
a dream
job
for all. While
some
believe that the
government
positions
are not convenient for youth, Others whom I support
think
that could be a step towards the progressive. This essay will eliminate blew both opinions
before
drawing a conclusion.

On the one hand,
some
convinced that taking a sensitive
position
in
government
couldn't be appropriate for
young
employees. Whereas they argue that
some of the
authority
jobs
could contain a senior level and it needs to have a decision-maker mentality.
For example
, in the military
jobs
,
some
of the leader's
jobs
should have
enough
experience to
make
decisions that have
been acquired
by the time in the other lowest levels to reach the high levels of the staff.
Namely
the more they transacted in
small
jobs
, the more experience they will
get
.

On the other side, taking opportunities to work in governmental
positions
, could be a great addition to the country improvement.
For instance
, youth has fresh new
ideas and
they can
help
with their creative development.
Therefore
,
young
workers able to carry serious responsibilities and could be productive in the progressive sector. To illustrate, if the authority gives chances to
young
individuals to take their
jobs
, it will benefit society by reducing the unemployment phenomenon and exploit the
young
workforce in the bucolic. I believe that authorities should give attention to the new graduates not
only
to push fresh blood in their organization structure
but
also
to benefit from their modern
ideas
.

Although the above look for both sides of the argument, it
is felt
that

leadership
positions
are a right to the
young
candidates
as well as
the oldest.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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