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Some argue that it is the responsibility of the parents to teach children about healthy eating habits, whereas others believe that teachers should be responsible for teaching their students how to eat in a healthy way. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some argue that it is the responsibility of the parents to teach children about healthy eating habits, whereas others believe that teachers should be responsible for teaching their students how to eat in a healthy way. v. 1
There is an argument about the healthy nutritional habits. Some believe that, it is the duty of the parents to teach their children about the habits of eating. While, others think that it is the responsibility of the teacher to spread awareness among students. Parents have a vital role in their child's life; starting from the first day of birth till their adulthood. So, there is no doubt that they have the major keys for the success of their child to live a healthy life. For example, the child's law in the United Stated provides the parents, especially the pregnant mother, with a free medical insurance and healthy feed to assure the mother and baby's safety. Afterwards, they monitor the baby's health till they enter the academy. At school, teachers give their students some classes and lectures about the importance of the healthy food. In addition, they provide them with a launch break in the middle of the school day contains all the nutritional values needed by the child to enhance their fitness and intellectual skills. For example, Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) that relates to the united nations, gave several training courses in the developing countries to spread the awareness of the health food between the university and high school students. To conclude, teaching the children about the healthy food is the responsibility of both parents and the school. Both of them have to know their role toward their children and raise them properly. Otherwise, diseases such as malnutrition and anaemia will spread among the next generation. That will destroy the future of the country.
There is an argument about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
nutritional habits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that, it is the duty of the parents to teach their children about the habits of eating.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the responsibility of the teacher to spread awareness among students.

Parents have a vital role in their child's life; starting from the
first
day of birth till their adulthood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is no doubt that they have the major keys for the success of their child to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life.
For example
, the child's law in the United Stated provides the parents,
especially
the pregnant mother, with a free medical insurance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
feed to assure the mother and baby's safety. Afterwards, they monitor the baby's health till they enter the academy.

At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, teachers give their students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
classes and lectures about the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In addition
, they provide them with a launch break in the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day contains all the nutritional values needed by the child to enhance their fitness and intellectual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
and Agriculture Organization (FAO) that relates to the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
united nations
, gave several training courses in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
to spread the awareness of the health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
between the university and high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students.

To conclude
, teaching the children about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the responsibility of both parents and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Both of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know their role toward their children and raise them
properly
.
Otherwise
, diseases such as malnutrition and
Possible spelling mistake found.
anaemia
will spread among the
next
generation. That will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the future of the country.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Some argue that it is the responsibility of the parents to teach children about healthy eating habits, whereas others believe that teachers should be responsible for teaching their students how to eat in a healthy way. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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