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Some argue that it is the responsibility of the parents teach the children about healthy eating habits, whereas others believe that teachers should be responsible for teaching their students how to eat in a healthy way. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some argue that it is the responsibility of the parents teach the children about healthy eating habits, whereas others believe that teachers should be responsible for teaching their students how to eat in a healthy way. v. 1
Some people believe that parents are responsible for developing good eating habits in children while others opine that it is the duty of teachers. In my opinion, this duty should be assumed by the parents. Children these days are not cared about their eating habits as they are more prone to eating unhealthy foods such as burgers, chocolates and cakes. Such habits should be controlled by the parents before kids become addicted to junk food. Since the children spend most of their time at homes, I believe parents should be extra careful when it comes to their child’s eating habits. In other words, they should create and follow a diet plan and strictly adhere to it so that the child receives optimum nutrition essential for his/her growth and development. For example, children can be given fresh fruits as their snacks at home rather than cookies and chocolates. However, this does not mean that parents are the only people responsible for teaching good eating habits. It is essential that the teachers should also play a key role in teaching them about healthy lifestyle and make them understand so that they embrace / adopt healthier habits in their day to day life. Teachers can give them an understanding of the importance of fruits and veggies and make them realize how healthy children can be by consuming them. For example, they can arrange a one day visit to the farms to teach children how the vital nutrients in fruits and vegetables keep them healthy. In conclusion, both the parents and teachers should make an effort to ensure that children follow healthy eating habits. Even so, I believe that good eating habits start from home. If parents eat right, children will also adopt a healthy lifestyle and become fit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are responsible for developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while others opine that it is the duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. In my opinion, this duty should
be assumed
by the parents.

Children these days are not cared about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
as they are more prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
unhealthy foods such as burgers, chocolates and cakes. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
should
be controlled
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
kids become addicted to junk food. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of their time at homes, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be extra careful when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to their child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
.
In other words
, they should create and follow a diet plan and
strictly
adhere to it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the child receives optimum nutrition essential for his/her growth and development.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
fresh fruits as their snacks at home
rather
than cookies and chocolates.

However
, this does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
responsible for teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
. It is essential that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
also
play a key role in teaching them about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they embrace / adopt healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
in their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
can give them an understanding of the importance of fruits and veggies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them realize how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be by consuming them.
For example
, they can arrange a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "one-day"
one day
visit to the farms to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how the vital nutrients in fruits and vegetables
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them healthy.

In conclusion
, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from home. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
eat right,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
also
adopt a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle and become fit.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some argue that it is the responsibility of the parents teach the children about healthy eating habits, whereas others believe that teachers should be responsible for teaching their students how to eat in a healthy way. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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