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Some argue that it is the responsibility of parents to teach children about healthy eating habits, whereas others believe that teachers should be responsible for teaching their students how to eat in a healthy way. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some argue that it is the responsibility of parents to teach children about healthy eating habits, whereas others believe that teachers should be responsible for teaching their students how to eat in a healthy way. v. 1
There is no doubt that wholesome nutrition is essential for school children. While some people think that helping students imbibe good eating habits is the duty of teachers, I would argue that this responsibility should primarily be assumed by parents. On the one hand, those who believe that teachers should help their students take up good dietary habits might contend that they have a greater impact on youngsters. This is because, they spend several hours a week, teaching pupils on various subjects which are geared towards molding their thinking. Young children and teenagers for example, tend to prefer sweets and junk food over nourishing meals, but the resulting issues such as obesity can hamper their physical and emotional development. By incorporating healthy eating studies and physical activity across curriculum in fun and creative ways however, educators have a greater chance of helping students adopt nutritious feeding patterns. My view on the other hand, is that parents should primarily assume this duty as they serve as their children’s role models in food habits and life in general. The reason for this is that they prepare or purchase many of the meals eaten by their wards and so can provide them with a variety of nutritious food on a consistent basis, as well as teach them to prepare these meals. In conclusion, although teachers can greatly influence their students to eat in healthy ways, I firmly believe that parents are responsible for ensuring that their children inculcate the habit of eating healthy since they serve as their role models in all things.
There is no doubt that wholesome nutrition is essential for school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
imbibe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
is the duty of teachers, I would argue that this responsibility should
primarily
be assumed
by parents.

On the one hand, those who believe that teachers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
dietary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
might contend that they have a greater impact on youngsters. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they spend several hours a week, teaching pupils on various subjects which
are geared
towards molding their thinking. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
for example
, tend to prefer sweets and junk food over nourishing meals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the resulting issues such as obesity can hamper their physical and emotional development. By incorporating healthy eating studies and physical activity across curriculum in fun and creative ways
however
, educators have a greater chance of helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
adopt nutritious feeding patterns.

My view
on the other hand
, is that parents should
primarily
assume this duty as they serve as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
role models in food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and life
in general
.
The reason for this is
that they prepare or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the meals eaten by their wards and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
can provide them with a variety of nutritious food on a consistent basis,
as well
as teach them to prepare these meals.

In conclusion
, although teachers can
greatly
influence their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to eat in healthy ways, I
firmly
believe that parents are responsible for ensuring that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
inculcate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of eating healthy since they serve as their role models in all things.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some argue that it is the responsibility of parents to teach children about healthy eating habits, whereas others believe that teachers should be responsible for teaching their students how to eat in a healthy way. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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