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Many people these days borrow money from financial institutions like banks to start a business or buy a house. Others, believe that this is a bad practice and people should spend that they have. Which do you believe and why? Use examples from your own experiences. v.1

Many people these days borrow money from financial institutions like banks to start a business or buy a house. Others, believe that this is a bad practice and people should spend that they have. Which do you believe and why? Use examples from your own experiences. v. 1
Monetary organizations lend billions of dollars each year around the globe. The majority of individuals think that it is acceptable to take a loan from the bank to build a new business or purchase a house. However, others consider that it is an inferior convention and people ought to only use money from their savings. In my opinion, I argue that borrowing money from financial institutions such as banks is better, as it is both a faster way to get funds and profits from investments. Individuals expedite the process of getting money from banks to commence a new company or to construct a new house. In other words, people who do not have enough savings can borrow money from banks quickly by showing all the valid identification proofs and concur on returning it at a certain interest rate within a specific time. For example, due to limited savings in my mid-twenties, I took a loan of 250k dollars, which got approved within a week, from HDFC bank at seven percent interest rate for ten years to build my grocery store and now I am the proud owner of it due to this loan. Because of the faster processing of a loan, people consider this method over savings for these massive purchases. Taking a loan from a bank could also assist people in earning profits through investments. Also, individuals can invest the borrowed money to start their new ventures such as a start-up software company or a new supermarket store to obtain profits in the long run. Moreover, the profitable income from these investments can also encourage people to take another loan in order to extend their business to other cities. For example, I started my grocery store by the name of ‘24X7’ in 2015 and now after ten years, it has 15 branches across all the metropolitan cities in north India which was possible because of the profits I earned through it and two other loans from the bank which I took. Consequently, investment is another enormous benefit than savings that people could get through loans. In conclusion, due to the faster access to loans from banks and their long-run benefits in terms of investments and profits, I believe that borrowing money from the monetary organization is extremely beneficial when people do not have enough savings.
Monetary organizations lend billions of dollars each year around the globe. The majority of individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is acceptable to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
business or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
However
, others consider that it is an inferior convention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
. In my opinion, I argue that borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from financial institutions such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
is better, as it is both a faster way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
funds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
from investments.

Individuals expedite the process of getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
to commence a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or to construct a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
can borrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
quickly
by showing all the valid identification proofs and concur on returning it at a certain interest rate within a specific time.
For example
, due to limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
in my mid-twenties, I took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
of 250k dollars, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
approved within a week, from HDFC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
at seven percent interest rate for ten years to build my grocery store and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am the proud owner of it due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the faster processing of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider this method over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
for these massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.

Taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
could
also
assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
.
Also
, individuals can invest the borrowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ventures such as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
supermarket store to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
in the long run.
Moreover
, the profitable income from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
can
also
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
in order to extend their business to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cities.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
my grocery store by the name of ‘
Replace by the typographical symbol.
24X7
’ in 2015 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
after ten years, it has 15 branches across all the metropolitan cities in north India which was possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
I earned through it and two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
which I took.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
is another enormous benefit than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through loans.

In conclusion
, due to the faster access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
and their long-run benefits in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
, I believe that borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from the monetary organization is
extremely
beneficial when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Many people these days borrow money from financial institutions like banks to start a business or buy a house. Others, believe that this is a bad practice and people should spend that they have. Which do you believe and why? Use examples from your own experiences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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