Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people these days borrow money from financial institutions like banks to start a business or buy a house. Others, believe that this is a bad practice and people should spend that they have. Which do you believe and why? Use examples from your own experiences. v.1

Many people these days borrow money from financial institutions like banks to start a business or buy a house. Others, believe that this is a bad practice and people should spend that they have. Which do you believe and why? Use examples from your own experiences. v. 1
Monetary organizations lend billions of dollars each year around the globe. The majority of individuals think that it is acceptable to take a loan from the bank to build a new business or purchase a house. However, others consider that it is an inferior convention and people ought to only use money from their savings. In my opinion, I argue that borrowing money from financial institutions such as banks is better, as it is both a faster way to get funds and profits from investments. Individuals expedite the process of getting money from banks to commence a new company or to construct a new house. In other words, people who do not have enough savings can borrow money from banks quickly by showing all the valid identification proofs and concur on returning it at a certain interest rate within a specific time. For example, due to limited savings in my mid-twenties, I took a loan of 250k dollars, which got approved within a week, from HDFC bank at seven percent interest rate for ten years to build my grocery store and now I am the proud owner of it due to this loan. Because of the faster processing of a loan, people consider this method over savings for these massive purchases. Taking a loan from a bank could also assist people in earning profits through investments. Also, individuals can invest the borrowed money to start their new ventures such as a start-up software company or a new supermarket store to obtain profits in the long run. Moreover, the profitable income from these investments can also encourage people to take another loan in order to extend their business to other cities. For example, I started my grocery store by the name of ‘24X7’ in 2015 and now after ten years, it has 15 branches across all the metropolitan cities in north India which was possible because of the profits I earned through it and two other loans from the bank which I took. Consequently, investment is another enormous benefit than savings that people could get through loans. In conclusion, due to the faster access to loans from banks and their long-run benefits in terms of investments and profits, I believe that borrowing money from the monetary organization is extremely beneficial when people do not have enough savings.
Monetary organizations lend billions of dollars each year around the globe. The majority of individuals
think
that it is acceptable to take a
loan
from the
bank
to build a
new
business or
purchase
a
house
.
However
, others consider that it is an inferior convention and
people
ought to
only
use
money
from their
savings
. In my opinion, I argue that borrowing
money
from financial institutions such as
banks
is better, as it is both a faster way to
get
funds and
profits
from investments.

Individuals expedite the process of getting
money
from
banks
to commence a
new
company
or to construct a
new
house
. In
other
words,
people
who do not have
enough
savings
can borrow
money
from
banks
quickly
by showing all the valid identification proofs and concur on returning it at a certain interest rate within a specific time.
For example
, due to limited
savings
in my mid-twenties, I took a
loan
of 250k dollars, which
got
approved within a week, from HDFC
bank
at seven percent interest rate for ten years to build my grocery store and
now
I am the proud owner of it due to this
loan
.
Because
of the faster processing of a
loan
,
people
consider this method over
savings
for these massive
purchases
.

Taking a
loan
from a
bank
could
also
assist
people
in earning
profits
through
investments
.
Also
, individuals can invest the borrowed
money
to
start
their
new
ventures such as a
start
-up software
company
or a
new
supermarket store to obtain
profits
in the long run.
Moreover
, the profitable income from these
investments
can
also
encourage
people
to take another
loan
in order to extend their business to
other
cities.
For example
, I
started
my grocery store by the name of ‘
24X7
’ in 2015 and
now
after ten years, it has 15 branches across all the metropolitan cities in north India which was possible
because
of the
profits
I earned through it and two
other
loans
from the
bank
which I took.
Consequently
,
investment
is another enormous benefit than
savings
that
people
could
get
through loans.

In conclusion
, due to the faster access to
loans
from
banks
and their long-run benefits in terms of
investments
and
profits
, I believe that borrowing
money
from the monetary organization is
extremely
beneficial when
people
do not have
enough
savings
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people these days borrow money from financial institutions like banks to start a business or buy a house. Others, believe that this is a bad practice and people should spend that they have. Which do you believe and why? Use examples from your own experiences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts