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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people mke? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.10

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people mke? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 10
These days technology takes an important place in our daily life. Indeed, people interact together through their mobile phone. Thus, the new generation, particularly become unsociable. In my opinion, this is a negative development in certain ways. People prefer to send messages instead of talking face to face. When, they need an information or just have some news of their family or friends. They prefer to send them a message on social network. For example, the professor Testart from the CNRS wrote an article where he explains that even if they live under the same roof. They prefer to send message than knocking at the door. I believe that in a few years people will only interact with each other through their cutting-edge devices. Moreover, people prefer to use application to make new relationships. A few years ago, people met their friends in bars and a party, whereas nowadays they prefer to chat online thanks to dating site. So, everything is doing virtually and in some case, they do not even know the person they are talking to. For instance, they prefer to encounter a person only after the software proved that they have the same affinity. Therefore, I am sure that people have more difficulty to talk with others when they are with a group of friends. In conclusion, since a few years technology has changed our way to communicate with each other. This affect, a lot our relationships. For this reasons, people prefer to interact together through social media and make new friends thanks to dating applications.
These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
technology takes an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place in our daily life.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interact together through their mobile phone.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation,
particularly
become unsociable. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development in certain ways.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages
instead
of talking face to face. When, they need an information or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of their family or friends. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them a message on social network.
For example
, the professor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Testart
from the CNRS wrote an article where he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
that even if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under the same roof. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
message than knocking at the door. I believe that in a few years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
interact with each other through their cutting-edge devices.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
application to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
relationships. A few years ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
met their friends in bars and a party, whereas nowadays they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to chat online thanks to dating site.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, everything is doing
virtually
and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case, they do not even know the person they are talking to.
For instance
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to encounter a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after the software proved that they have the same affinity.
Therefore
, I am sure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more difficulty to talk with others when they are with a group of friends.

In conclusion
, since a few
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "years'" or "year's"?
years
technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our way to communicate with each other. This affect, a lot our relationships. For
Did you mean "these"?
this
reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to interact together through social media and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends thanks to dating applications.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people mke? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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