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Some advocates argue that it is good to share as much information as possible, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v.2

Some advocates argue that it is good to share as much information as possible, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 2
In the contemporary world, human understanding has been promoted more than ever. Each one of us always being encouraged to learn and to share as much as we can. But, in this case, some controversial opinions haven' t been reconciled yet. While some advocates argue that it is good to share as much information as possible, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. In my point of view, each perspective has its strengths and weaknesses, but honestly, I still spend a bias for the later. On the one hand, sharing knowledge is beneficial. It is a known fact that, the more we know about this world, the more we become better and wiser. Normally, when we give, we lost, even if it much or not. But when it comes to knowledge, giving does not mean losing, it is multiplying the information. Moreover, spreading information not only expands people' s minds but also makes many phenomenal changes to the world. For instance, when a cure is shared, millions of lives are saved; when an invention is released, millions of life are more convenient; and when a message is brought out, millions of lives are happier. On the other hand, there are some aspects make me strongly support that exists many kinds of information should not be leaked. To be more specific, each research has its credit. If a doctrine was not published the person creating, it would be unfair. Additionally, making information equal making money, so losing it also mean losing money. As an example, when a company' s fundamental document had been stolen and then being sold for the opponents, it will lead to huge damage. In conclusion, sharing information including both advantages and disadvantages. So that if people can distinguish which case understanding could be given and which not, it will be extremely profitable and wonderful.
In the contemporary world, human understanding has
been promoted
more than ever. Each one of us always
being encouraged
to learn and to share as much as we can.
But
,
in this case
,
some
controversial opinions
haven&
#039; t
been reconciled
yet
. While
some
advocates argue that it is
good
to share as much
information
as possible, others believe that
some
information
is too
important
or too valuable to
be shared
freely
. In my point of view, each perspective has its strengths and weaknesses,
but
honestly
, I
still
spend a bias for the
later
.

On the one hand, sharing knowledge is beneficial. It is a known fact that, the more we know about this world, the more we become better and wiser.
Normally
, when we give, we lost, even if it much or not.
But
when it
comes
to knowledge, giving does not mean losing, it is multiplying the
information
.
Moreover
, spreading
information
not
only
expands
people&
#039; s minds
but
also
makes
many
phenomenal
changes
to the world.
For instance
, when a cure
is shared
, millions of
lives
are saved
; when an invention
is released
, millions of life are more convenient; and when a message
is brought
out, millions of
lives
are happier.

On the other hand
, there are
some
aspects
make
me
strongly
support that exists
many
kinds of
information
should not
be leaked
. To be more specific, each research has its credit. If a doctrine was not published the person creating, it would be unfair.
Additionally
, making
information
equal making money,
so
losing it
also
mean losing money. As an example, when a
company&
#039; s fundamental document had
been stolen
and then
being sold
for the opponents, it will lead to huge damage.

In conclusion
, sharing
information
including both advantages and disadvantages.
So
that if
people
can distinguish which case understanding could be
given
and which not, it will be
extremely
profitable and wonderful.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some advocates argue that it is good to share as much information as possible, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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