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Societies benefit from international tourism and business To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Societies benefit from international tourism and business v. 1
Road mishaps have become a burning issue in recent times. Some individuals are of the opinion that, to decrease number of accidents, it is compulsory to take the driving test once in every 3 years. I completely agree with this statement as this helps to alleviate road accidents that are caused by the people who lack driving skills. To begin with, it is mandatory for drivers to retake the test every 3 years in order to check one's driving skills. What many people do that, they take training from institutions to control the vehicle in order to get the license. After some days, these persons completely forget about skills that they acquired from training centres. As a result, many accidents are happening leading to death of innocent lives. For example, teenagers in India contribute the most number of accident percentage when compared to adults. This is due to the fact that, in order to drive a vehicle one needs to be working on that skill regularly in which many adolescents are lacking. Thus, these kind of exams helps in checking driver skills. Another reason why I agree is that, by conducting the exam transport officers can check whether the person is physically fit or not to drive the vehicles. After getting a license for light motor vehicles such as cars, there is a high possibility that one can be injured while playing a sport or doing an adventure activities. If this happens, retest helps the officers to evaluate the skills of a driver. Therefore, these persons believe this will reduce the number of accidents. To recapitulate, road accidents can be reduced by conducting license test every 3 years as this checks the driving skills and physical fitness of a driver. Personally, I completely agree as this helps to alleviate road mishaps that are caused by amateur drivers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
mishaps have become a burning issue in recent times.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals are of the opinion that, to decrease number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
, it is compulsory to take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
once in every 3 years. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to alleviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
that
are caused
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
to retake the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
every 3 years in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. What
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do that, they take training from institutions to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the license. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days, these persons completely forget about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that they acquired from training
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are happening leading to death of innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in India contribute the most number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
percentage when compared to adults.
This is due to the fact that
, in order to drive a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
one needs to be working on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
regularly
in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adolescents are lacking.
Thus
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of exams
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in checking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Another reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
is that, by conducting the exam transport officers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
whether the person is
physically
fit or not to drive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
. After getting a license for light motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
such as cars, there is a high possibility that one can
be injured
while playing a sport or doing an adventure activities. If this happens, retest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the officers to evaluate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
.
Therefore
, these persons believe this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of accidents.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by conducting license
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
every 3 years as this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and physical fitness of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
.
Personally
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to alleviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
mishaps that
are caused
by amateur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Societies benefit from international tourism and business v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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