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Most of the world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poorest. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? And how can we ensure that tourism does not destroy traditio v.2

Most of the world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poorest. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? And how can we ensure that tourism does not destroy traditio v. 2
The nature always plays a vital role in the lives of every living organism, because everything in the world is interconnected and interdependent. However, many have a perception that varieties of flora and fauna are under crucial threat, while others believe that there are other issues which are more predominant than former. This essay discusses both the viewpoints. The plants and animals are getting affected by different pollutions like noise, sound and radiations, which causes the decline of its existence. For instance, with the introduction of cellphone towers many bird species like sparrows and white pigeons has almost become extinct. Moreover, people are cutting down the trees, so that they could fulfil their requirements like the interior designing of the house using woods, manufacturing of furniture’s and making wooden vessels. Therefore, the birds living on them become homeless, so they are flying away to farther places. Similarly, humans are poaching down the animals for its fur, teeth and other parts of the body which are used in medicines, clothing and cosmetics. The other common environmental problems are natural calamities and irregular rainfall, which many humans presume that these issues have a great impact on the human existence. To give an example, in 2004, Tamil Nadu was affected by the Tsunami, which is a natural disaster that has swept away the lives of many people. This is due to improper conservation of environment, which is indeed due to the cutting down of trees and killing of animals. Additionally, the pollution has also affected the environment in a negative way, which causes the global warming. To sum up with, I strongly believe that both the issues have a major effect on the environment and all these could be solved in an efficient manner when government and the public take initiative measures.
The nature always plays a vital role in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of every living organism,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everything in the world
is interconnected
and interdependent.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
have a perception that varieties of flora and fauna are under crucial threat, while others believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues which are more predominant than former. This essay discusses both the viewpoints.

The plants and animals are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pollutions like noise, sound and radiations, which causes the decline of its existence.
For instance
, with the introduction of cellphone towers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bird species like sparrows and white pigeons has almost become extinct.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are cutting down the trees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could fulfil their requirements like the interior designing of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
using woods, manufacturing of furniture’s and making wooden vessels.
Therefore
, the birds living on them become homeless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are flying away to farther places.
Similarly
, humans are poaching down the animals for its fur, teeth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the body which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in medicines, clothing and cosmetics.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
common environmental problems are natural calamities and irregular rainfall, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
humans presume that these issues have a great impact on the human existence. To give an example, in 2004, Tamil Nadu was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the Tsunami, which is a natural disaster that has swept away the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This is due to improper conservation of environment, which is
indeed
due to the cutting down of trees and killing of animals.
Additionally
, the pollution has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the environment in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way, which causes the global warming.

To sum up with, I
strongly
believe that both the issues have a major effect on the environment and all these could
be solved
Consider replacing "in an efficient manner" with the adverb for "efficient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an efficient manner
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the public take initiative measures.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Most of the world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poorest. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? And how can we ensure that tourism does not destroy traditio v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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