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Most of the world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poorest. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? And how can we ensure that tourism does not destroy traditio v.4

Most of the world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poorest. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? And how can we ensure that tourism does not destroy traditio v. 4
It is a ubiquitous notion that tourism has recently become a profitable sectors for most governments. However, the majority of the poor living in these countries do not have the capability to make much use of this development, and their traditional values may be eroded by foreign culture evasion. Offering education to local communities and promoting tradition-based travelling are two are the two practical solutions to these issues. Providing vocational training to the less privileged may enable them to profit from tourism. As the industry is booming, it requires employees with higher skills and capability. For instance, a luxury hotel would need a highly-trained barista or chef in their restaurants, and would also demand its staffs to speak multiple languages to meet expectation of foreign guests. However, the impoverished do not have access to education and learn these skills; as a result, they can only obtain poorly-paid jobs. Therefore, if the needy received career training, they would definitely have greater earnings. Moreover, taking advantage of traditional cultures would be an effective way to make use of native values for tourism development and also benefit the poor. This style of travel enables visitors to experience regular lives of local people. For example, instead of accommodating in a hotel, tourists can pay for a home-stay in with villagers. This would both gives them with insights of the local customs and provides the natives with a much-needed income. In conclusion, the wealth generated by the thriving tourism may not flow down to the poor, and might as well deteriorate cultural values. However, if we provide the under-privileged with education and encouraging the use of conventional features in travelling services, we can bring more benefits to them and as well avoid tradition erosion.
It is a ubiquitous notion that
tourism
has recently become a profitable
sectors
for most
governments
.
However
, the majority of the poor living in these countries do not have the capability to
make
much
use
of this development, and their traditional values may
be eroded
by foreign culture evasion. Offering education to local communities and promoting tradition-based travelling are two are the two practical solutions to these issues.

Providing vocational training to the less privileged may enable them to profit from
tourism
. As the industry is booming, it requires employees with higher
skills
and capability.
For instance
, a luxury hotel would need a
highly
-trained barista or chef in their restaurants, and would
also
demand its staffs to speak multiple languages to
meet
expectation of foreign guests.
However
, the impoverished do not have access to education and learn these
skills
;
as a result
, they can
only
obtain
poorly
-paid jobs.
Therefore
, if the needy received career training, they would definitely have greater earnings.

Moreover
, taking advantage of traditional cultures would be an effective way to
make
use
of native values for
tourism
development and
also
benefit the poor. This style of travel enables visitors to experience regular
lives
of local
people
.
For example
,
instead
of accommodating in a hotel, tourists can pay for a home-stay in with villagers. This would both gives them with insights of the local customs and provides the natives with a much-needed income.

In conclusion
, the wealth generated by the thriving
tourism
may not flow down to the poor, and might
as well
deteriorate cultural values.
However
, if we provide the under-privileged with education and encouraging the
use
of conventional features in travelling services, we can bring more benefits to them and
as well
avoid tradition erosion.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Most of the world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poorest. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? And how can we ensure that tourism does not destroy traditio v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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