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What kind of music do you like the least? Give reasons why you do not like this kind of music. v.1

What kind of music do you like the least? Give reasons why you do not like this kind of music. v. 1
Having many applicants and viewers, talent shows have become popular in many societies. Although some people may argue that these shows are only for entertainment, I strongly believe that these shows are a good method of finding talented people. Imagine someone with a great talent in a special field, but he or she has no chance of being recognized because he or she cannot simply have access to media. Talent shows have made it easy for people to reach media since the judges usually travel around the country and visit different places. Furthermore, a particular amount of money is needed to introduce someone in the media. As many people do not have money at first, they try to find a sponsor. However, finding a sponsor without being famous is really hard. Talent shows help people to show their ability in front of a big variety of audiences. If they can make an impact on viewers, they can find a sponsor easier. Nevertheless, I have to admit that these kind of shows has become popular among their audience since they are successful in entertaining them, If people were not amused by these programmes, they would not continue to watch them. However, they like to spend their time watching these shows because they get to see people with different capabilities which can be sometimes even extraordinary. In conclusion, it is a fact that talent shows are successful in entertaining people and it is one of the reasons why these shows are very popular. In my opinion, these kind of shows are also a good way to find talented people since they help people who are looking for a chance to perform before audience to show their ability and become known.
Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applicants and viewers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
have become popular in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for entertainment, I
strongly
believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method of finding talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Imagine someone with a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in a special field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he or she has no chance of
being recognized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he or she cannot
simply
have access to media.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
have made it easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to reach media since the judges
usually
travel around the country and visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places.

Furthermore
, a particular amount of money
is needed
to introduce someone in the media. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have money at
first
, they try to find a sponsor.
However
, finding a sponsor without being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their ability in front of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
variety of audiences. If they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an impact on viewers, they can find a sponsor easier.

Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
has become popular among their audience since they are successful in entertaining them, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were not amused by these
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, they would not continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them.
However
, they like to spend their time watching these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
capabilities which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even extraordinary.

In conclusion
, it is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are successful in entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it is one of the reasons why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular. In my opinion,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to find talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are looking for a chance to perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
audience to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their ability and become known.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What kind of music do you like the least? Give reasons why you do not like this kind of music. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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