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Most of the world's poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poorest. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? Give reasons for your answer. v.1

Most of the world's poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poorest. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? v. 1
In the last 40 years, there has been a substantial growth in the population of many countries. Such growth is gaining more momentum as there is less work done in terms of sustaining socioeconomic and health conditions that is critical to advise people about birth control. Overall, this has been complicating and weakening the efforts made in the urban and sustainable design fields, which aim at providing new homes for the residents. Relevantly, there is a critical connection in any development scheme between urban and social development, sustainability, and economic. Such connection reflects the need to keep a healthy relation between the three aspects in order to come with a master plan that respects both, human needs and the natural environment. On the other hand, I believe the problem that urban planners face, is providing people with new settlement areas. This is considered an issue because there might not be enough space within the urban setting to satisfy people's needs. Such problem can be dealt with by directly building in the countryside. However, although this might be the only solution in some specific cases, but it is generally a bad planning practice to come up with these easy solutions for many reasons. For instance, building on farm lands or agricultural areas affects the environmental sensitivity in a bad way, and puts more pressure on the natural regenerative ecosystem on this particular site. As well, this haphazard building pattern weakens the economy that depends agriculture. Moreover, it destroys the natural scenes. This unplanned urban development scheme can be clearly seen in the ring road that goes around Cairo city in Egypt as we can notice many buildings that are built on the agricultural lands there. This can be also seen Beirut city in Lebanon. Generally, I would stress on the fact that we need to plan new urban settlements in a more careful manner, which would allow us to meet the growing demand in the housing sector, while sustaining the natural environment.
In the last 40 years, there has been a substantial growth in the population of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Such growth is gaining more momentum as there is less work done in terms of sustaining socioeconomic and health conditions
that is
critical to advise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about birth control.
Overall
, this has been complicating and weakening the efforts made in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
and sustainable design fields, which aim at providing new homes for the residents.

Relevantly
, there is a critical connection in any development scheme between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
and social development, sustainability, and economic. Such connection reflects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a healthy relation between the three aspects in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with a master plan that respects both, human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
environment.

On the other hand
, I believe the problem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
planners face, is providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with new settlement areas. This
is considered
an issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there might not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
setting to satisfy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. Such problem can
be dealt
with by
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
in the countryside.

However
, although this might be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
generally
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
planning practice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with these easy solutions for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
on farm lands or agricultural areas affects the environmental sensitivity in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way, and puts more pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
regenerative ecosystem on this particular site.
As well
, this haphazard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
pattern weakens the economy that
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
agriculture.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
scenes.

This unplanned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
development scheme can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the ring road that goes around Cairo city in Egypt as we can notice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that
are built
on the agricultural lands there. This can be
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
Beirut city in Lebanon.

Generally
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on the fact that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to plan new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
settlements in a more careful manner, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the growing demand in the housing sector, while sustaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Most of the world's poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poorest. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
331 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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