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Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter are observed to have more negative effects than positive being more useful for the criminals than others To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement Give reasons for your answer and incl v.5

Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter are observed to have more negative effects than positive being more useful for the criminals than others with this statement 5
Around us, we noticed many people are using social networking sites like Facebook and twitter. It is considered by many that social networking site has many advantages, while some believed that social networking site encourages criminals. I partially agree with both views, because of technology, people can stay closer to the world with cheap and efficient communication. Firstly, social media sites are one kind of bridge for people, who live far from each other. Because of social media, many old and new friends can chat easily, share the information about their lives. Also, those peoples who migrated in another country, they can stay connected by social media like a Facebook video call. Moreover, many people join the community, which pursues same kind of interests toward certain subjects, and they communicate with different people that increase more knowledge. For example, some people like to know more about the painting, so they follow painter’s community from that he/she get more idea about different painters who work around the world. On the other hand, social networking site embarks many sorrow events in people’s life. Nowadays people are so much addicted from these social sites, which effect on their physical and psychological health. For instance, many students, who neglect from their friends. They take revenge with accessing other friend’s personal details and threaten them. Many people create the fake account and chat with other people. There are many people over share their details on the social site, which also easy for a criminal to hack the account. To sum up, I believe that use of social media is good till certain level to connect with people but limited details reduce chances of crimes.
Around us, we noticed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
like Facebook and twitter. It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
encourages criminals. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both views,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can stay closer to the world with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and efficient communication.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are one kind of bridge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and new friends can chat
easily
, share the information about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Also
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
migrated in another country, they can stay connected by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like a Facebook video call.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the community, which pursues same kind of interests toward certain subjects, and they communicate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that increase more knowledge.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to know more about the painting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they follow painter’s community from that he/she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
painters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work around the world.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
embarks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sorrow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much addicted from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, which effect on their physical and psychological health.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
neglect from their friends. They take revenge with accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
friend’s personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and threaten them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
create the fake account and chat with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
, which
also
easy for a criminal to hack the account.

To sum up, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
till certain level to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
limited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
chances of crimes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter are observed to have more negative effects than positive being more useful for the criminals than others with this statement 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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