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Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter are observed to have more negative effects than positive being more useful for the criminals than others To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement Give reasons for your answer and incl v.3

Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter are observed to have more negative effects than positive being more useful for the criminals than others with this statement 3
Environmental degradation is one of the most alarming issues facing today’s world and has garnered much public attention. While some people agree with the idea that individual effort is futile, I strongly believe saving our planet should be the responsibility of not only the governments but also individuals. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that resolving some complex global issues definitely requires substantial resources and various advanced technologies. In other words, the intervention from the governments and large companies is of paramount importance. For instance, China has recently constructed a tower operating as an air purifier that can run on solar energy, which helps improve air quality significantly. Furthermore, only the authorities have the power to pass laws aimed at protecting the environment against public and private harms. Without these laws, there would hardly be any dramatic improvements in environmental conditions. On the other hand, I believe individual awareness and actions are the key factors contributing to positive environmental changes. Firstly, there is a limited extent to what politicians can accomplish on their own. Without collaboration from ordinary citizens, the politicians can hardly alone tackle environmental issues effectively. For example, they cannot prevent the citizens from wasting electricity or leaving the taps running in their private houses. Secondly, there are several steps individuals can take to protect the ecosystem. For instance, by taking public transport instead of driving, people can reduce greenhouse gas emissions that pose a threat to life on Earth. In addition, consumers can substitute cloth bags for the plastic ones when shopping to minimize plastic pollution. In conclusion, I firmly believe conserving the environment is everyone’s moral duty. Therefore, it is imperative that the governments and individuals make joint efforts to tackle this problem as soon as possible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
degradation is one of the most alarming issues facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world and has garnered much public attention. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
effort is futile, I
strongly
believe saving our planet should be the responsibility of not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
individuals.

On the one hand, it cannot
be denied
that resolving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
complex global issues definitely requires substantial resources and various advanced technologies.
In other words
, the intervention from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is of paramount importance.
For instance
, China has recently constructed a tower operating as an air purifier that can run on solar energy, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
air quality
significantly
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the authorities have the power to pass laws aimed at protecting the environment against public and private harms. Without these laws, there would hardly be any dramatic improvements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
conditions.

On the other hand
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
awareness and actions are the key factors contributing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
Firstly
, there is a limited extent to what politicians can accomplish on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Without collaboration from ordinary citizens, the politicians
The adverb 'hardly' is usually put before the verb 'can'.
can hardly
alone tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues
effectively
.
For example
, they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the citizens from wasting electricity or leaving the taps running in their private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
Secondly
, there are several steps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can take to protect the ecosystem.
For instance
, by taking public transport
instead
of driving,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
greenhouse gas emissions that pose a threat to life on Earth.
In addition
, consumers can substitute cloth bags for the plastic ones when shopping to minimize plastic pollution.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe conserving the environment is everyone’s moral duty.
Therefore
, it is imperative that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
joint efforts to tackle this problem as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter are observed to have more negative effects than positive being more useful for the criminals than others with this statement 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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