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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v.8

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8
The use of social media is seemingly acceptable to all generations. However, this introduces concerns over sharing personal information. While there is clearly a drawback to this, I personally believe that the benefits are more significant. The downside of sharing private information is that someone may use it to commit crimes, this could happen with something as simple as holiday plan. A while ago, a house was broken into by thieves who knew that the family were on vacation, from their daughter’s Facebook page. Therefore, it is very important that we are aware of what we share. On the other hand, one of the major advantages is that social media brings people closer or even reconnect childhood friends. A good example of this is when you put your alma mater in your profile information, Facebook suggest adding people who put the same information. One of the suggestions may just be a long-lost friend, and you can get in contact with him/her again. In addition to that, social media as a communication channel can help a good cause. Many governments or agencies have started to use social media to inform the public of news or updates. One remarkable example recently was by the Singapore Government who implemented a new mobile app to connect with its citizen and use social media to educate the public on how to use it. Clearly, this is a good way of using social media, as a communication medium. In conclusion, the advantages are of greater significance than the disadvantages. Despite the fact that personal information may be misused, the presence of social media gives huge impacts to many people. Given this situation, it is recommended for people to learn how much personal information that they want to share and also, to be vigilant in the digital world.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
seemingly
acceptable to all generations.
However
, this introduces concerns over sharing personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. While there is
clearly
a drawback to this, I
personally
believe that the benefits are more significant.

The downside of sharing private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is that someone may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to commit crimes, this could happen with something as simple as holiday plan. A while ago, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
was broken
into by thieves who knew that the family were on vacation, from their daughter’s Facebook page.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we are aware of what we share.

On the other hand
, one of the major advantages is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer or even reconnect childhood friends. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is when you put your alma mater in your profile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, Facebook suggest adding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who put the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. One of the suggestions may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be a long-lost friend, and you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in contact with him/her again.

In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as a communication channel can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
cause.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
or agencies have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to inform the public of news or updates. One remarkable example recently was by the Singapore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
who implemented a new mobile app to connect with its citizen and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to educate the public on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
Clearly
, this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, as a communication medium.

In conclusion
, the advantages are of greater significance than the disadvantages. Despite the fact that personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
may
be misused
, the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
gives huge impacts to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, it
is recommended
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn how much personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that they want to share and
also
, to be vigilant in the digital world.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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