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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages. v.7

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages. v. 7
Popularity of social media has increased in recent year among all age groups, especially among teenagers. It has a lot to offer such as meeting new people, faster ways of sharing information and for entertainment purpose. On the flips side there is a risk involved in sharing data on social media which can be misused. I am of the opinion that, it's advantages outweigh disadvantages because of information security. I will discuss both the views of the topic. To begin with, social media website like Facebook and Twitter have opened doors for meeting new people and sharing information across the world. This has a positive impact on the society because finding like minded people and exchanging information has always been a challenge. Moreover, entertainment has been the most popular activity on social media among all age groups, apart from that access to flash news and spreading awareness among people is faster and reliable with the help digital media. For instance, in India social media played a vital role in saving thousands of lives by spreading information to thousands of people during the cyclone. However, there is a risk involved in sharing personal data on the internet because people can access and misuse the information in spreading false news and creating fake documents. In addition to that, blackmailing and following people is one of the most common activity. In recent years awareness in securing information and maintaining privacy has been a top priority in social media with the help of information security. To illustrate, a teenager attempted suicide due to false spreading of information and photographs of him on social media. In conclusion, no doubt social media has more advantages and opened several ways of accessing information and connecting with new people, in spite of the risk involved.
Popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has increased in recent year among all age groups,
especially
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. It has a lot to offer such as meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, faster ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and for entertainment purpose. On the flips side there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
data on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
which can
be misused
. I am of the opinion that, it's advantages outweigh disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
security. I will discuss both the views of the topic.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
website like Facebook and Twitter have opened doors for meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
across the world. This has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
finding
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
like minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and exchanging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has always been a challenge.
Moreover
, entertainment has been the most popular activity on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
among all age groups, apart from that access to flash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreading
awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
faster and reliable with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
For instance
, in India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
played a vital role in saving thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
during the cyclone.

However
, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
personal data on the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access and misuse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreading
false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and creating fake documents.
In addition
to that, blackmailing and following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is one of the most common
Please check whether a plural form of 'activity' should be used.
activity
. In recent
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "years'" or "year's"?
years
awareness in securing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and maintaining privacy has been a top priority in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
security. To illustrate, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
attempted suicide due to false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreading
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and photographs of him on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

In conclusion
, no doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has more advantages and opened several ways of accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and connecting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
involved.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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