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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.13

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 13
These days, tourists from different states are visiting other countries, and tourism has now become a mega-industry. It is argued that this has created problems instead of an understanding between citizens of different nations. This essay fully disagrees with this argument and believes that tourism has boosted people’s relations because it provides employment for the locals and improves bilateral ties by bridging the gap in the difference of opinion. Firstly, international tourism improves the job prospects of a country and it helps in creating relations between different states. That is to say, when people visit a specific destination, they purchase goods, stay in a hotel and visiting tourist sites, and to accommodates more tourists the more employees are required, hence the job opportunities are boosted. For example, it was reported by one of Mexico’s newspapers, that after US citizen’s tourism in Mexico increased the unemployment in the country dramatically reduced and locals started appreciating this vistor surge. Secondly, tourism has an enormous positive impact on bilateral ties between nations. When people travel to countries, they tends to respect the difference of opinion of their hosts and this massively bridges the gap of cultural difference, this, in turn, enhances the diplomatic relation between them. This situation has been widely observed among those countries who in the past has shared hostile relation towards each other, and tourism has acted as an ambassador to curb tensed relations, For instance, a report published by the government of South Korea stated that country’s diplomatic ties with North Korea has substantially increased after over last 2 years when the tourism among them was opened after a decade ban. In conclusion, I believe that tourism has created an understanding between various countries and cultures and this has surged the employments for the local and have dramatically improved the bilateral relations.
These days, tourists from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
states are visiting other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become a mega-industry. It
is argued
that this has created problems
instead
of an understanding between citizens of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations. This essay
fully
disagrees with this argument and believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has boosted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides employment for the locals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
bilateral ties by bridging the gap in the difference of opinion.

Firstly
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the job prospects of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
states.
That is
to say, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit a specific destination, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, stay in a hotel and visiting tourist sites, and to accommodates more tourists the more employees
are required
,
hence
the job opportunities
are boosted
.
For example
, it
was reported
by one of Mexico’s newspapers, that after US citizen’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in Mexico increased the unemployment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and locals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
appreciating this
Possible spelling mistake found.
vistor
surge.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has an enormous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on bilateral ties between nations. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "tend"
tends
to respect the difference of opinion of their hosts and this
massively
bridges the gap of cultural difference, this, in turn, enhances the diplomatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relation
between them. This situation has been
widely
observed among those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who in the past has shared hostile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relation
towards each other, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has acted as an ambassador to curb tensed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
,
For instance
, a report published by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of South Korea stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
diplomatic ties with North Korea has
substantially
increased after over last 2 years when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
among them
was opened
after a decade ban.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has created an understanding between various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and cultures and this has surged the employments for the local and have
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the bilateral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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