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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v.6

Not only young kids but elderly people are also getting addicted to social media. Nowadays, people are posting their status, photos and other personal details on the internet without thinking twice. There are both advantage and disadvantages of using social media. There are several disadvantages of utilizing internet for sharing personal details. Some people are excessively using these social media sites, and they are glued to their phones. They even chat to their friends over internet only. This can have severe negative impact on their mental health and can cause depression. People are more exposed to frauds due to increasing usage of social media. We have lot of personal information on social media like email address, phone number, date of birth. Hackers can get your information and can used it against you. Without proper supervision, children can be exposed to adult content or befriend some strangers with ill intentions. So, there are both psychological and security issues for using social media. However, there are some benefits as well. People can follow certain celebrities or people to get curated information to their liking. Apart from this, they can follow some news channels or educational channel for obtaining new information. Furthermore, people can now connect easily with a friend they had lost touch in childhood and share important information with them. So, better connectivity with people and ease of information flow are important advantages of using social media. In conclusion, the disadvantages of social media usage can be very damaging to a person, so in my opinion the cons overpower the pros. On top of it, everyone should be careful about what they share and with whom they share their information. Personal information in wrong hand can be deadly.
Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
young kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
elderly
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people
are
also
getting addicted to
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are posting their status, photos and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on the internet without thinking twice. There are both advantage and disadvantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

There are several disadvantages of utilizing internet for sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
excessively
using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
sites, and they
are glued
to their phones. They even chat to their friends over internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. This can have severe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their mental health and can cause depression.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are more exposed to frauds due to increasing usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. We have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like email address, phone number, date of birth. Hackers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and can
The modal verb ‘can’ requires the verb’s base form.
used
it against you. Without proper supervision, children can
be exposed
to adult content or befriend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strangers with ill intentions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there are both psychological and security issues for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can follow certain celebrities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
curated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to their liking. Apart from this, they can follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
news channels or educational channel for obtaining new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
connect
easily
with a friend they had lost touch in childhood and share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, better connectivity with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
flow are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

In conclusion
, the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
usage can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
damaging to a person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in my opinion the cons overpower the pros. On top of it, everyone should be careful about what they share and with whom they share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hand can be deadly.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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