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It is often said that governments too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are important? Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is often said that governments too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are important? v. 1
It is undeniable that wildlife protection is one of the alarming issues human population is facing. However, some people believe that authorities are spending an astronomical amount of money on different projects for their protection, rather than on more challenging and threatening issues. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this notion and believes that fauna protection is a global issue to be prioritized among other issues of serious concern due to several reasons. Firstly, wild species plays a vital role in the preservation of nature and the environment. They are important elements in the food chain in a specific area with a direct influence on the habitat of living organisms in that area. To illustrate, in 1985, foxes were re-introduced to Yellowstone national park, USA, and as a result, the reindeers and bisons started to avoid certain areas for grazing, thus the number of trees proliferated. Also, many other species attracted towards that area and since then the flora of Yellowstone contributes 5% of CO2 removal globally. In other words, the protection of one single species can have a significant effect on the human population and the environment. Another point to consider is, many species became extinct due to the destruction of their natural habitat and a dozen more are listed as endangered species, and are at the verge of extinction. This will have a dramatic effect on the diversity of planet earth where living things are deeply dependent on each other for survivals. For instance, poaching is responsible for the extinction of many animals in the African wild and fighting against it requires a disposable amount of money. Moreover, the disappearance of various animals has hit the economy by influencing the tourism industry. In conclusion, though, there are serious issues on a gross scale to deal with, undoubtedly wildlife protection in one of them because of its role in maintaining the food chain and the diversification of the earth.
It is undeniable that wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
is one of the alarming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
human population is facing.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that authorities are spending an astronomical amount of money on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
projects for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
,
rather
than on more challenging and threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this notion and believes that fauna
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
is a global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
to
be prioritized
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
of serious concern due to several reasons.

Firstly
, wild species plays a vital role in the preservation of nature and the environment. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
elements in the food chain in a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
with a direct influence on the habitat of living organisms in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. To illustrate, in 1985, foxes were re-introduced to
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Yellowstone national park
, USA, and
as a result
, the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "reindeer", the plural form of the noun 'reindeer'?
reindeers
and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "bison", the plural form of the noun 'bison'?
bisons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to avoid certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for grazing,
thus
the number of trees proliferated.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species attracted towards that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and since then the flora of Yellowstone contributes 5% of CO2 removal globally. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
of one single species can have a significant effect on the human population and the environment.

Another point to consider is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species became extinct due to the destruction of their natural habitat and a dozen more
are listed
as endangered species, and are at the verge of extinction. This will have a dramatic effect on the diversity of planet earth where living things are
deeply
dependent on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
for survivals.
For instance
, poaching is responsible for the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
animals in the African wild and fighting against it requires a disposable amount of money.
Moreover
, the disappearance of various animals has hit the economy by influencing the tourism industry.

In conclusion
, though, there are serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
on a gross scale to deal with,
undoubtedly
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
in one of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its role in maintaining the food chain and the diversification of the earth.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is often said that governments too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are important? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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