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It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring their children up. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring their children up. v. 2
Raising children is not that easy. Hence, many people consider parenting training course is indispensable to raise young ones. According to my opinion, it is a necessity as these workshops can aid new parents in various manners and everyone should opt for these. To begin with, various aspects of a child growth and development are taught in these classes. To exemplify, my friend who recently became a mother was unaware about the appropriate diet of her seven months old daughter, Lisa. Consequently, she was prone to illness every now and then due to poor immunity caused by imbalanced meals. My friend on her mother's recommendation joined a parenting course aimed at guiding, cooking meals for infants. She is very jubilant and now Lisa's health has improved a lot. Also, modern parents have little idea of maintaining proper hygiene when they have to live with a baby. It is a tedious task for them to change diapers of a tiny toddler on a frequent basis. Furthermore, feed must be given in separate utensils which need to be cleaned and sanitized to kill germs and bacteria. Compromising with cleanliness can prove fatal. There was a news in a local newspaper that due to negligence of a mother, her offspring died. When she was preparing supper for her young ones, a lizard jumped into it, she was unaware of this. After consuming poisonous meal, her infant died. That lady killed her baby unintentionally. To avoid such hazardous situation, parenting workshops are there that deals with the safety and hygiene of the ward. To conclude, having training courses to provide guidance for upbringing a child is a boon for society. A trainee can ensure better health and safety of his baby by participating in these.
Raising children is not that easy.
Hence
,
many
people
consider parenting training course is indispensable to raise young
ones
. According to my opinion, it is a necessity as these workshops can aid new parents in various manners and everyone should opt for these.

To
begin
with, various aspects of a child growth and development
are taught
in these classes. To exemplify, my friend who recently became a mother was unaware about the appropriate diet of her seven months
old
daughter, Lisa.
Consequently
, she was prone to illness every
now
and then due to poor immunity caused by imbalanced meals. My friend on her mother's recommendation
joined
a parenting course aimed at guiding, cooking meals for infants. She is
very
jubilant and
now
Lisa's health has
improved
a lot.

Also
, modern parents have
little
idea
of maintaining proper hygiene when they
have to
live
with a baby. It is a tedious task for them to
change
diapers of a tiny toddler on a frequent basis.
Furthermore
, feed
must
be
given
in separate utensils which need to
be cleaned
and sanitized to kill germs and bacteria. Compromising with cleanliness can prove fatal. There was
a news
in a local newspaper that due to negligence of a mother, her offspring
died
. When she was preparing supper for her young
ones
, a lizard jumped into it, she was unaware of this. After consuming poisonous meal, her infant
died
. That lady killed her baby
unintentionally
. To avoid such hazardous situation, parenting workshops are there that deals with the safety and hygiene of the ward.

To conclude
, having training courses to provide guidance for upbringing a child is a boon for society. A trainee can ensure better health and safety of his baby by participating in these.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring their children up. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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