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Smoking should be made illegal. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Smoking should be made illegal. v. 1
Smoking should be made illegal. Do you agree with this statement? Governing bodies must ban the cigarettes and other forms of nicotine smoking. I completely agree with the above idea because of its potential negative effects on the environment and people. To begin with, smoking of any form has adverse effect on the health of people. It is responsible for many life threatening diseases like lung cancer and bronchitis. Despite having the knowledge of its ill effects on them, people are addicted to it. In addition, other factors such as air pollution and passive smoking negatively affect the environment. The exhaust gases emitted as a result of smoking are responsible for contaminating the surroundings. A recent study by The Michigan University shows that secondary smoking claims more lives than the active smoking. This means, the people around smokers are at a greater risk of life when compared to the smokers themselves. Although some people believe that smoking is a personal choice, it is crystal clear that it affects many. Also, the measures that are in place to limit the smoke and exhaust are proven ineffective because these are eventually spreading and causing illness to the people and contaminating their habitat. In conclusion, smoking should not be perceived as an individual habit, but must be treated as an epidemic causing the destruction of people and the environment. To avoid any further damage, government should take the help of the judicial system and make it illegal.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
should
be made
illegal. Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement?

Governing bodies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ban the cigarettes and other forms of nicotine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its potential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
of any form has adverse effect on the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is responsible for
Use "much" or "little" with uncountable nouns.
many
life threatening diseases like lung cancer and bronchitis. Despite having the knowledge of its ill effects on them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are addicted
to it.

In addition
, other factors such as air pollution and passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
negatively
affect the environment. The exhaust gases emitted
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
are responsible for contaminating the surroundings. A recent study by The Michigan University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
claims more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
than the active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. This means, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around smokers are at a greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of life when compared to the smokers themselves.

Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is a personal choice, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it affects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
Also
, the measures that are in place to limit the smoke and exhaust
are proven
ineffective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are
eventually
spreading and causing illness to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and contaminating their habitat.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should not
be perceived
as an individual habit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be treated
as an epidemic causing the destruction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the environment. To avoid any
further
damage,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the judicial system and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it illegal.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Smoking should be made illegal. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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