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It has been proven that smoking kills. In some countries, it has been made illegal for people to smoke in all public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your a v.4

It has been proven that smoking kills. In some countries, it has been made illegal for people to smoke in all public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. Give reasons for your a v. 4
It is undeniable that smoking jeopardizes human life, and that cigarette consumption is banned in most public places in a number of countries. I firmly agree that this rule should be applied in all countries and I will support my opinion with compelling arguments. To begin with, smoking in public places undoubtedly harms other people’s health and violates their rights who do not consume cigarette actively. It means that passive smokers, children in particular, are innocent at the mercy of smokers’ selfish behavior. Take children who suffer from pulmonary diseases such as asthma as an instance, by being exposed to toxic cigarette smoke in the community, they would be more likely to experience an asthmatic attack and their illness would be exacerbated leading to a fatal situation. As a result, this is against the basic principles of an egalitarian society in which everyone should have the same rights. Furthermore, banning cigarette consumption in public places can reduce the overall rate of smoking in the society as a whole. Research findings confirm that in some countries such as Singapore which have introduced some strict laws to deter people from smoking in the public, the proportion of cigarette consumption is considerably lower than in other countries. Once people have few options to smoke, they would be compelled to resort to decreasing the number of cigarettes they consume and even give up smoking altogether. Therefore, this rule can bring about some advantages for smokers in the long run. In conclusion, given the fact that making it illegal for people to smoke in public places can benefit not only nonsmokers but also smokers themselves. This rule should be adopted in all countries.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
jeopardizes human life, and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
consumption
is banned
in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
should
be applied
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and I will support my opinion with compelling arguments.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
undoubtedly
harms other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health and violates their rights who do not consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
actively
. It means that passive smokers, children
in particular
, are innocent at the mercy of smokers’ selfish behavior. Take children who suffer from pulmonary diseases such as asthma as an instance, by
being exposed
to toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
smoke in the community, they would be more likely to experience an asthmatic attack and their illness would
be exacerbated
leading to a fatal situation.
As a result
, this is against the basic principles of an egalitarian society in which everyone should have the same rights.

Furthermore
, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
consumption in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
overall
rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in the society as a whole. Research findings confirm that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Singapore which have introduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict laws to deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
consumption is
considerably
lower than in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have few options to smoke, they would
be compelled
to resort to decreasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
they consume and even give up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
altogether.
Therefore
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
can bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for smokers in the long run.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the fact that making it illegal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to smoke in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can benefit not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
nonsmokers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
smokers themselves. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
should
be adopted
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been proven that smoking kills. In some countries, it has been made illegal for people to smoke in all public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. Give reasons for your a v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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