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Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v.5

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 5
Every year, there is an incline in crime statistics. One of the major cause is due to bad practices by police department in prosecution process. However, in order to prevent this problem, law and enforcement agencies need to alter current policies and align with latest trends of crime. Primarily, It has been observed that loopholes in current investigation procedure is the burning reason behind it. To explain, even though criminal is caught red-handed, still police department is unable to provide strong evidences in order to prove him guilty in court. As a result, criminals maximum utilizes these flaws of system and once released, they opt the same pathway of crimes again. For example, In Pakistan, Every year 35% of criminals are out of prison due to lack of effective probing from police authorities. Seemingly, current police reforms are ailing in nature so, state authorities need to expand the scope of criminal polices and align them with current trends of crimes. To elaborate, crimes these days are very much diversify and in order to subsides crime ratio, firstly, authorities need to ascertain the cause and opt legislation in accordance. Secondly, stringent polices need to adopt to avoid them in future. Dubai, for instance, had credit card scam very common in 2017-18, after implications of modern and effective measures, crime rate declined significantly. In conclusion, crime rate these days are soaring high. Primary cause of this problem is due to dogged approach of poor interrogation procedure by police authorities but in order to overcome, security departments need to change current practices towards criminal justice and opt updated methods for investigation of latest crimes.
Every year, there is an incline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
statistics. One of the major cause is due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
practices by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
department in prosecution process.
However
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this problem, law and enforcement agencies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to alter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
policies and align with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
trends of crime.

Primarily
, It has
been observed
that loopholes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
investigation procedure is the burning reason behind it. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is caught
red-handed,
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
department is unable to provide strong evidences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to prove him guilty in court.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
maximum utilizes these flaws of system and once released, they opt the same pathway of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again.
For example
, In Pakistan, Every year 35% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are out of prison due to lack of effective probing from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
authorities.

Seemingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
reforms are ailing in nature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, state authorities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to expand the scope of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
polices and align them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
trends of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. To elaborate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
these days are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much diversify and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
Did you mean "subside"?
subsides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
ratio,
firstly
, authorities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to ascertain the cause and opt legislation in accordance.
Secondly
, stringent polices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
avoid them
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. Dubai,
for instance
, had credit card scam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common in 2017-18, after implications of modern and effective measures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate declined
significantly
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate these days are soaring high. Primary cause of this problem is due to dogged approach of poor interrogation procedure by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to overcome, security departments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
practices towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
justice and opt updated methods for investigation of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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IELTS essay Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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