Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v.15

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 15
Smoking has inevitably been a concern of governments around the globe considering how to manage and educate smoking people. This is due largely to the danger of the substance contained in the cigarettes, nicotine. As its drawback may also occur for the people near the smokers, policies related to this, particularly in public places, should be taken into account; whether it should be banned or not. I personally think that forbidding such dangerous activity will be much beneficial that it can prevent others from having a vulnerable respiratory system. Moreover, this can maintain the places so clean that people could always find them fascinating with less air pollution. However, governments should consciously provide some special places which, in this case, can be used for smoking. On the other hand, people who have currently been addicted to smoke would feel hard to avoid smoking in such places. As a result, they may smoke breaking the rule and not even feeling guilty. For this reason, there are two steps then to encounter this probable emerging problem. First, some strict law and appropriate punishment such as to pay more tax or to give any charity orphans or others needing. Second, education is one of the most prominent and essential ways to change peoples’ belief in terms of having their cigarette burnt. However, banning such activity in public places is not merely a way to prevent others from the harms of smokes, but it will, to a larger extent, possibly be able to elevate people’s awareness of how dangerous smoking is. To sum up, despite being a hard thing for smokers to not smoke, the policy which bans smoking in public places should be applied in order to save others. Nonetheless, people’s education in terms of the drawbacks of smoking is a part of this aim.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
has
inevitably
been a concern of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
around the globe considering how to manage and educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is due
largely
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of the substance contained in the cigarettes, nicotine. As its drawback may
also
occur for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
near the smokers, policies related to this,
particularly
in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, should
be taken
into account; whether it should
be banned
or not.

I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that forbidding such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
activity will be much beneficial that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
others from having a vulnerable respiratory system.
Moreover
, this can maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
clean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could always find them fascinating with less air pollution.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
consciously
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which,
in this case
, can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for smoking.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
currently
been addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
would feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
As a result
, they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
breaking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
and not even feeling guilty.
For this reason
, there are two steps then to encounter this probable emerging problem.
First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict law and appropriate punishment such as to pay more tax or to give any charity orphans or others needing. Second, education is one of the most prominent and essential ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
belief in terms of having their cigarette burnt.

However
, banning such activity in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is not
merely
a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
others from the harms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smokes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will, to a larger extent,
possibly
be able to elevate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is.

To sum up, despite being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
thing for smokers to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
, the policy which bans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
should
be applied
in order to save others. Nonetheless,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
education in terms of the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is a part of this aim.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 15

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts