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Many criminals commit crimes after they were set free. Research indicates that the people who were convicted criminals would often commit crimes when they are set free. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this issue? v.3

Many criminals commit crimes after they were set free. Research indicates that the people who were convicted criminals would often commit crimes when they are set free. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this issue? v. 3
In today’s modern world, the crime rate in everywhere around the globe is increasing at an alarming rate. A recent report research has shown that the continual growth in crime rate is significantly due to a large proportion of criminals will re-offend when they are released from prison. It is, therefore, important for us to establish the practical ways to tackle this problem. To some extent, I believe that if there is rehabilitation being done in jail, the criminals are unlikely to commit the crime again after they are out of the prison. Rehabilitation is crucial and must be carried out in jail to educate them what are the good values and what are the bad. This action will further encourage them to think about what they have done over the years. Once they realise what they did in the past are wrong, they will regret and may not re-offend whatsoever. Nevertheless, I have brainstormed and come out with the ideas that could be proved useful in kerbing this problem. To begin, there should be a change in the crime-related legislation. Those who commit serious crimes should be given a lengthy sentence to prison so that they have no opportunity to re-offend. Undoubtedly, it will indirectly become a deterrent to the would-be offender and thus helps to reduce the possibility of commit crimes after they are released from jail. In addition, the government should also arrange paid job to the criminals after they set free from prison, it is owing to the reason that they will not be facing financial hardships. According to a recent study conducted in Malaysia, most of the criminals will re-offend only when they have financial problems. In conclusion, I believe there are tonnes of ways government can take to cope with this problem and most of the criminals will not commit crimes again if they were given a chance to contribute to society like everyone else do and have a proper job to earn a living.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in everywhere around the globe is increasing at an alarming rate. A recent report research has shown that the continual growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is
significantly
due to a large proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will re-offend when they
are released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. It is,
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us to establish the practical ways to tackle this problem.

To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I believe that if there is rehabilitation
being done
in jail, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are unlikely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again after they are out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. Rehabilitation is crucial and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be carried
out in jail to educate them what are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
values and what are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. This action will
further
encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what they have done over the years. Once they
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
what they did in the past are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, they will regret and may not re-offend whatsoever.

Nevertheless
, I have brainstormed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that could
be proved
useful in
Possible spelling mistake found.
kerbing
this problem. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there should be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the crime-related legislation. Those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a lengthy sentence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they have no opportunity to re-offend.
Undoubtedly
, it will
indirectly
become a deterrent to the would-be offender and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after they
are released
from jail.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
arrange paid job to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
after they set free from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, it is owing to the reason that they will not be facing financial hardships. According to a recent study conducted in Malaysia, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will re-offend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they have financial problems.

In conclusion
, I believe there are tonnes of ways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can take to cope with this problem and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again if they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to contribute to society like everyone else do and have a proper job to earn a living.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many criminals commit crimes after they were set free. Research indicates that the people who were convicted criminals would often commit crimes when they are set free. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this issue? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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