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Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v.14

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 14
The earlier we can ban  smoking in public places, the better it would be for the human kind. Having foreseen the same, many offices and governing bodies imposed a strict ban on public smoking. This measure is generally applauded by the majority of mass. However, the opposing minority interrupt this ban as an act of arrest on one's free will. Let us discourse on this moot issue below. It is generally agreed and even proven with scientific studies, that smoking is injurious to health. Health problems that smoking can induce are numerous. Cancer is among the major detrimental effects of smoking on one’s health.   As it is rightly displayed on the cigar packets, smoking is one of the primary factors leading to cancer. Furthermore, effects of smoking on the systemic and peripheral circulation in the human body are appalling, as put forward by medical experts. The havoc of this insane habit is so horrifying, that research points towards its possible harmful effects on unborn children, even. Smoking is considered as a culprit among the many, behind the congenital birth defects and anomalies. Another factor significant to this context would be the financial constraints imposed by smoking. In many developing countries, where people work on daily wages, the habit of smoking has an atrocious impact on their quality of life. In the majority of the mediocre families, around the world, smoking drains the significant part of their family budgets. For example, I witnessed many problems with reference to my father being a chronic smoker and the financial crisis it caused. The amount of carbon and other toxic elements exhaled to the atmosphere by active smokers has reached such dizzy heights that its effect on passive smokers is more or less a reality now. In fact, the effect of first-hand smoke is seen permeable to even the second and third-hand smokers in the spectrum. The significance of the public ban on smoking is not just justifying but a necessity as it calls for. As a result, it is widely banned in some offices and institutions. Awareness programmes are being conducted all around the world against this habit. Though the public ban on smoking is an individual constraint to one's freedom, considering the passive effects of smoking I would strongly accord win the ban. In my view, this would be a punitive measure to safeguard the health and wealth of the public or the society.
The earlier we can ban
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places, the better it would be for the human kind. Having foreseen the same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
offices and governing bodies imposed a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. This measure is
generally
applauded by the majority of mass.
However
, the opposing minority interrupt this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
as an act of arrest on one's free will.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us discourse on this moot issue below.

It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
and even proven with scientific studies, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is injurious to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
can induce are numerous. Cancer is among the major detrimental effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
on one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
As it is
rightly
displayed on the cigar packets,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is one of the primary factors leading to cancer.
Furthermore
, effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
on the systemic and peripheral circulation in the human body are appalling, as put forward by medical experts. The havoc of this insane habit is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
horrifying, that research points towards its possible harmful effects on unborn children, even.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is considered
as a culprit among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, behind the congenital birth defects and anomalies.

Another factor significant to this context would be the financial constraints imposed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work on daily wages, the habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
has an atrocious impact on their quality of life. In the majority of the mediocre families, around the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
drains the significant part of their family budgets.
For example
, I witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems with reference to my father being a chronic smoker and the financial crisis it caused.

The amount of carbon and other toxic elements exhaled to the atmosphere by active smokers has reached such dizzy heights that its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on passive smokers is more or less a reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of
first
-hand smoke is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
permeable to even the second and third-hand smokers in the spectrum. The significance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
justifying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a necessity as it calls for.
As a result
, it is
widely
banned in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offices and institutions. Awareness
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are
being conducted
all around the world against this habit.

Though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is an individual constraint to one's freedom, considering the passive effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
I would
strongly
accord win the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
. In my view, this would be a punitive measure to safeguard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and wealth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
or the society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 14

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
403 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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