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Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree. v.2

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. v. 2
Since early in the present century, the detrimental effects of cigarettes and other tobacco products on health has received considerable attention. There is a widely held view that governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products for the sake of protecting public health. While there still remain some valid arguments to the contrary, it is my personal view that cigarettes and tobacco should be made illegal. First of all, it is an indisputable fact that not only does smoking affect negatively on the person smoking but it also has adverse impact on people surrounding. On individual scale, cigarettes and other tobacco products are high in nicotin and harmful chemical substances that are responsible for countless ailments and even death. Moreover, although I certainly agree that smoking can stimulate good mood and excitement, its cost and negative effects on health in the long run are significant. In other words, while smoking is beneficial in the long term, its long term effect are generally negative. Therefore, laws prohibiting smoking would be entirely justified. Further and even more importantly, people spend a great deal of money on cigarettes and other tobacco products per anum, which is really harmful to the host economy. It is estimated that it costs about 2 dollars to buy a pack of cigarettes and each adult consume approximately 2 packs every day. What is more is that it is prohibitively expensive to cure smoking- related ailments. It costs national budget millions of dollar yearly. It either costs smokers time and money to heal their illness or interrupt manufacturing because of the lack of healthy labor. By way of conclusion, I once again affirm my position that government should take the responsibility of controlling the trade and consume of cigarettes and other tobacco products for the sake of the shared benefit of society. In years to come, I believe that public education in terms of danger potential of smoking and laws banning consuming cigarettes and tobacco goods should be warranted.
Since early in the present century, the detrimental effects of
cigarettes
and
other
tobacco
products
on health has received considerable attention. There is a
widely
held view that
governments
should ban
cigarettes
and
other
tobacco
products
for the sake of protecting public health. While there
still
remain
some
valid arguments to the contrary, it is my personal view that
cigarettes
and
tobacco
should
be made
illegal.

First of all
, it is an indisputable fact that not
only
does
smoking
affect
negatively
on the person
smoking
but
it
also
has adverse impact on
people
surrounding. On individual scale,
cigarettes
and
other
tobacco
products
are high in
nicotin
and harmful chemical substances that are responsible for countless ailments and even death.
Moreover
, although I
certainly
agree
that
smoking
can stimulate
good
mood and excitement, its
cost
and
negative
effects on health in the long run are significant. In
other
words, while
smoking
is beneficial in the long term, its long term effect are
generally
negative
.
Therefore
, laws prohibiting
smoking
would be
entirely
justified.

Further
and even more
importantly
,
people
spend a great deal of money on
cigarettes
and
other
tobacco
products
per
anum
, which is
really
harmful to the host economy. It
is estimated
that it
costs
about 2 dollars to
buy
a pack of
cigarettes
and each adult consume approximately 2 packs every day.
What is more
is that it is
prohibitively
expensive to cure
smoking-
related ailments. It
costs
national budget millions of dollar yearly. It either
costs
smokers time and money to heal their illness or interrupt manufacturing
because
of the lack of healthy labor.

By way of conclusion, I once again affirm my position that
government
should take the responsibility of controlling the trade and consume of
cigarettes
and
other
tobacco
products
for the sake of the shared benefit of society. In years to
come
, I believe that public education in terms of
danger
potential of
smoking
and laws banning consuming
cigarettes
and
tobacco
goods
should
be warranted
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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