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Tobacco is an addictive substance, but people have been using it freely. Some people say tobacco products (such as cigarettes and smoking pipes) should be made illegal. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Tobacco is an addictive substance, but people have been using it freely. Some people say tobacco products (such as cigarettes and smoking pipes) should be made illegal. v. 2
People are calling into question the consumption of tobacco products legally. While some advocate the idea that these products should be announced as illegal products, others dismiss them as they state that it does not solve the issue. Admittedly, I am of the opinion that the declaration of tobacco products as illegal products would not solve the issue for a number of compelling reasons. The most rational justification is that the smugglers are likely to gain more money by putting tobacco items on the list of illegal items. That is if the government were to announce the tobacco products illegal, the benefits accruing from this action would be towards smugglers. In other words, being addictive to these products, some individuals will try to find it for any cost. Therefore, by following this action, not only are we not solving the problem, but also help the mafia bands gathering more money. The perennial problem takes its toll on people who used these products as they are likely to spend more money on their normal consumption. Yet another compelling reason is that there are no alternative products available. To put it differently, were we to declare banning tobacco products, no other alternative products would be available for the public to use. Thus, for those individuals who are addicted to cigarettes, there is no choice other than purchase alternatives and much more severe drugs from the black market. That is to say, if we made a product illegal, at least one alternative should be legal so the consumers can use that alternative. To sum up, by put a red flag on tobacco products and ban them, the problem of using them are not likely to be solved. Therefore, I strongly disagree with the declaration of tobacco products as illegal items as it is bound to have serious repercussions on society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are calling into question the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
legally
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advocate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should
be announced
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, others dismiss them as they state that it does not solve the issue.
Admittedly
, I am of the opinion that the declaration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
would not solve the issue for a number of compelling reasons.

The most rational justification is that the smugglers are likely to gain more money by putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
items on the list of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
items.
That is
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
were to announce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
, the benefits accruing from this action would be towards smugglers. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, being addictive to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals will try to find it for any cost.
Therefore
, by following this action, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are we not solving the problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the mafia bands gathering more money. The perennial problem takes its toll on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as they are likely to spend more money on their normal consumption.

Yet
another compelling reason is that there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available. To put it
differently
, were we to declare banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
would be available for the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Thus
, for those individuals who
are addicted
to cigarettes, there is no choice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
and much more severe drugs from the black market.
That is
to say, if we made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
, at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
should be legal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the consumers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that alternative.

To sum up, by put a red flag on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and ban them, the problem of using them are not likely to
be solved
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
disagree with the declaration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
items as it
is bound
to have serious repercussions on society.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Tobacco is an addictive substance, but people have been using it freely. Some people say tobacco products (such as cigarettes and smoking pipes) should be made illegal. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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