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Smoking banEffective September 1, the university is taking action to reduce the effects of second-hand smoke. This will involve enforcing a smoking ban within 10 meters of all building entrances and structures including outdoor patios and bus stops. Anyon v.1

Smoking banEffective September 1, the university is taking action to reduce the effects of second-hand smoke. This will involve enforcing a smoking ban within 10 meters of all building entrances and structures including outdoor patios and bus stops. Anyon v. 1
Professionals in the medical occupations, state that women and females in a middle-age have a health-related problem and due to this, fertility treatment (IVF) should be given to them for money. This essay disagrees with this point of view because of the human rights, declining the birth rate in different regions, and newborns can suffer from different diseases. It is widely accepted in public, that each woman has a right to born a child and if it is possible, she should not be discriminated against because of her weight. Human rights are basic to human beings. Currently, the government making a lot of effort to promote equality. For example, United Nations conventions do not allow to have such discrimination in the public and such people doing this should be penalized. It is certainly true that IVF is very useful for the increase number of people in different parts of the world. More and more people have struggled problems with obesity and if IVF is not for free, the population will decrease because this therapy costs a lot and most the families could not afford it. For instance, Kazakhstan is the biggest territory in Central Asia, moreover, it has an issue with a weight of women, but in total the people residing in this destination are not too much. The state started to encourage a free pregnancy care and for now, the results are amazing; the population started to grow. Another important factor is finance, and the new generation will become unhealthy which is bad for society. The reason for this is that women become more unhealthy, If pregnancy cure charges some money, she will start to find ways how to save money. They can use an unauthorized medical institution that provides such services for less pay. This can be a result of diseases and illness. A recent study shows that 51 percent who have used not official medical services born sick offspring. In conclusion, free fertility treatment has a lot of advantages for a world population and it will be a result of a healthy generation in the future. Furthermore, women with obesity should not be discriminated just because of her big body, it is violating the rights of humans.
Professionals in the medical occupations, state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and females in a middle-age have a health-related problem and due to this, fertility treatment (IVF) should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them for money. This essay disagrees with this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
, declining the birth rate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions, and newborns can suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases.

It is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in public, that each woman has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
Did you mean "to bear"?
to born
a child and if it is possible, she should not
be discriminated
against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of her weight.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
are basic to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
Currently
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort to promote equality.
For example
, United Nations conventions do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to have such discrimination in the public and such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing this should
be penalized
.

It is
certainly
true that IVF is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for the increase number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have struggled problems with obesity and if IVF is not for free, the population will decrease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this therapy costs a lot and most the families could not afford it.
For instance
, Kazakhstan is the biggest territory in Central Asia,
moreover
, it has an issue with a weight of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in total the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing in this destination are not too much. The state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to encourage a free pregnancy care and for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the results are amazing; the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to grow.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is finance, and the new generation will become unhealthy which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for society.
The reason for this is
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
become more unhealthy, If pregnancy cure charges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money, she will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to find ways how to save money. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
an unauthorized medical institution that provides such services for less pay. This can be a result of diseases and illness. A recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 51 percent who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
not official medical services born sick offspring.

In conclusion
, free fertility treatment has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages for a world population and it will be a result of a healthy generation in the future.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
with obesity should not
be discriminated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
body, it is violating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Smoking banEffective September 1, the university is taking action to reduce the effects of second-hand smoke. This will involve enforcing a smoking ban within 10 meters of all building entrances and structures including outdoor patios and bus stops. Anyon v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
370 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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