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Some companies say that if an employee wants to smoke they must leave the building and smoke outside. This takes time away from work, and the employers insist that this time should be counted as break time. This may not be fair to the smokers who may have to wait a long time to get out of the building. How could this problem be resolved? v.1

Some companies say that if an employee wants to smoke they must leave the building and smoke outside. This takes time away from work, and the employers insist that this time should be counted as break time. This may not be fair to the smokers who may have to wait a long time to get out of the building. How could this problem be resolved? v. 1
Human nature is open to a variety of addictions such as alcohol and smoking. Some of these addictions affect working quality and as a result of this, alcohol is banned from workplaces. On the other hand, because of smoking doesn't affect working, employees are allowed to use it during their shift. But, during last two decades government approved a new bill which forbids smoking inside buildings and as a result of this, people who would like to smoke cigarettes should leave the building first. This essay is going to examine which solutions could be used to close time gap for required to leave the building. First of all, using the same amount of breaks is right of each employee. It should be calculated somehow. For instance, employers should give break time counter to each employee and inform them that if they will go outside, a counter will calculate total time spent outside. If an employee works without breaks, he or she should receive incentives such as bonus or company internal usage points Secondly, employers might reorganise employees desk near to exist to prevent wasted times during walking out of the building. Furthermore, companies might add a balcony on each floor in order to create smoking zones. This idea might be useful for employees, but I this solution might create massive expenses during construction. Moreover, some companies like "Google" allow their employees to work without defined desks and this gives mobility to employees. This might be a solution without spending any to avoid wasted times for smokers. Lastly, there might be a program to deter employees from smoking while giving them chance to smoke during work hours. For instance, employees who joined the program quits smoking, completes the program successfully and they receive incentives such as bonus cash or company points. This solution has benefits to each side and it could be used for the betterment of life and working standard. In conclusion, there are a variety of solutions to avoid the smoking issue and both sides should try their best to fix it before it became pandemic.
Human nature is open to a variety of addictions such as alcohol and
smoking
.
Some
of these addictions affect working quality and
as a result
of this, alcohol
is banned
from workplaces.
On the other hand
,
because
of
smoking
doesn't affect working,
employees
are
allowed
to
use
it during their shift.
But
, during last two decades
government
approved a new bill which forbids
smoking
inside buildings and
as a result
of this,
people
who would like to smoke cigarettes should
leave
the building
first
. This essay is going to examine which
solutions
could be
used
to close
time
gap for required to
leave
the building.

First of all
, using the same amount of breaks is right of each
employee
. It should
be calculated
somehow.
For instance
, employers should give break
time
counter to each
employee
and inform them that if they will go outside, a counter will calculate total
time
spent outside. If an
employee
works without breaks, he or she should receive incentives such as bonus or
company
internal usage
points


Secondly
, employers
might
reorganise
employees
desk near to exist to
prevent
wasted
times
during walking out of the building.
Furthermore
,
companies
might
add
a balcony on each floor in order to create
smoking
zones. This
idea
might
be useful for
employees
,
but
I this
solution
might
create massive expenses during construction.
Moreover
,
some
companies
like
"
Google
"
allow
their
employees
to work without defined desks and this gives mobility to
employees
. This
might
be a
solution
without spending any to avoid wasted
times
for smokers.
Lastly
, there
might
be a program to deter
employees
from
smoking
while giving them chance to smoke during work hours.
For instance
,
employees
who
joined
the program quits
smoking
, completes the program
successfully and
they receive incentives such as bonus cash or
company
points. This
solution
has benefits to each side and it could be
used
for the betterment of life and working standard.

In conclusion
, there are a variety of
solutions
to avoid the
smoking
issue and both sides should try their best to
fix
it
before
it became pandemic.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some companies say that if an employee wants to smoke they must leave the building and smoke outside. This takes time away from work, and the employers insist that this time should be counted as break time. This may not be fair to the smokers who may have to wait a long time to get out of the building. How could this problem be resolved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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