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Some people like to read classic works of literature. Others prefer watching film versions of the same stories. Which do you prefer and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v.1

Some people like to read classic works of literature. Others prefer watching film versions of the same stories. Which do you prefer and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1
Development in communication tools and the internet altered the way people communicate significantly ever since they have been introduced. While some people appreciate the benefits of these useful tools, others alarm that these can negatively affect human relationships. This essay will explore how they have affected the human interactions and give reasons why it is considered as a negative development. The significance of technological development to our life cannot be underestimated as our life would have not been the same without the technological advancement. The Introduction of social media such as Facebook, Instagram and YouTube enabled people to connect each other even with an existing physical distance. They made it easier to share information and users are able to communicate via messaging, sending photos or videos instantly from anywhere in the world. As people are living in a fast-paced society, it is critical to have an access to this information to stay keep undated, hence this achievement is much appreciated While advantages of new technology are recognised, its negative impacts on human relationships cannot be ignored. In recent years, people often spend hours on social media rather than actually spending time with friends and family. People used to appreciate the time they spent together with loved ones in the past. Ironically, people pay less attention to the person in front of them, rather they communicate with someone who is not at present. In addition, the information on these social media can be misused, leading to relationship issues and further facilitating the social isolation. Thus, people used to have more intimate relationships with close friends, henceforth, the relying too much on these technologies as a mean of communication cannot be encouraged. In conclusion, while new ways of communication using computer devices and the internet allow people to be connected with their peer groups, anytime and anywhere they want, I acknowledge this phenomenon as a negative development. People used to have more intimate relationships with loved ones and overuse of social media may lead a social isolation.
Development in communication tools and the internet altered the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate
significantly
ever since they have
been introduced
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appreciate the benefits of these useful tools, others alarm that these can
negatively
affect human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
. This essay will explore how they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the human interactions and give reasons why it
is considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

The significance of technological development to our life cannot
be underestimated
as our life would have not been the same without the technological advancement. The Introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as Facebook, Instagram and YouTube enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect each other even with an existing physical distance. They made it easier to share information and users are able to communicate via messaging, sending photos or videos
instantly
from anywhere in the world. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced society, it is critical to have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to this information to stay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
undated,
hence
this achievement is much
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
appreciated


While advantages of new technology are
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
, its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spend hours on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
rather
than actually spending time with friends and family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to appreciate the time they spent together with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in the past.
Ironically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay less attention to the person in front of them,
rather
they communicate with someone who is not at present.
In addition
, the information on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can
be misused
, leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
issues and
further
facilitating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
isolation.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have more intimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
with close friends, henceforth, the relying too much on these technologies as a mean of communication cannot
be encouraged
.

In conclusion
, while new ways of communication using computer devices and the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
be connected
with their peer groups, anytime and anywhere they want, I acknowledge this phenomenon as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have more intimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
and overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
may lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
isolation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to read classic works of literature. Others prefer watching film versions of the same stories. Which do you prefer and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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