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Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
It is thought that small companies are gradually dying out because they are supplanted by large multinational ones. This essay will argue that the benefits outclass the drawbacks because, on the one hand, it develops company and creates an integration between nations. On the other hand, it brings about problems for small businesses. There are several reasons why big international firms are growing more and more. First, the replacement of little companies into multinational firms shows the progress of culture. When a company like this established, the income and profit of this business will increase and strengthen the economics of a country, and thus money will be used for solving many problems of the community. Second, it draws up the union among countries. Because, if a multinational enterprise wants to export or provides services for other nations, it must get the consent of these countries, which means they have a good relationship with each other and believe that that company will supply qualified goods for them. Those opposed to this say that it causes many problems for small companies. While small firms cannot develop due to the displacement of big transnational ones, they tend to face up to problems such as financial, recruitment, or the operation, which will go bankrupt. However, there does not have proper evidence because some little firms still succeed because they merge with multinational companies. In conclusion, although the suppression of small firms causes negative issues to little companies, it still is outweighed by the good sides. It brings both growths to civilization and the emergence among the realms.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
gradually
dying out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are supplanted
by large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. This essay will argue that the benefits outclass the drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, on the one hand, it develops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and creates an integration between nations.
On the other hand
, it brings about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
businesses.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
are growing more and more.
First
, the replacement of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the progress of culture. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
like this established, the income and profit of this business will increase and strengthen the economics of a country, and
thus
money will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for solving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of the community. Second, it draws up the union among countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
enterprise wants to export or provides services for other nations, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the consent of these countries, which means they have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with each other and believe that that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will supply qualified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for them.

Those opposed to this say that it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
cannot develop due to the displacement of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
transnational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, they tend to face up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as financial, recruitment, or the operation, which will go bankrupt.
However
, there does not have proper evidence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
still
succeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they merge with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

In conclusion
, although the suppression of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issues to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, it
still
is outweighed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides. It brings both growths to civilization and the emergence among the realms.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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