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rich countries should aallow jobs for skilled and knowlegeable employers who are from poor coutries. Do you agree or disagree. v.1

rich countries should aallow jobs for skilled and knowlegeable employers who are from poor coutries. v. 1
Nowadays, wealth countries should give to people whose come from an unfortunate place, the opportunity to work with them. I argued that a graduate person should have the chance to get a job somewhere else, because he does not have this possibility in his own town. In this essay, I will discuss the question and give several reasons of my point-view. First of all, even if the graduate student had an occupation in his country, he would be under-paid. Indeed, generally, the majority of people who try to immigrate to another country is because they could not feed their family and lived in good ways. The only one solution for them is to move out. For example, after the "spring revolution" in Tunisia, the lifestyle changed a lot and the majority of people didn't have a work. So, many young men decided to immigrate in Europe where the salary was better and the policy more respectfull of its inhabitants. However, with the vague of immigration in Europe, particularly in France it becomes a polemic to receive people. They decided to close their border and to expulse actual residents even if they had a job. Therefore, I believe that rich countries, such as countries from Europe gives the chance to these people to work and just ask them why they are here. Perhaps, they will open their eyes and see that the sight is not pink all around the world. Moreover, however, countries from the "North" should help the "South" to develop their economy instead to exploit them. Traditionally, the south are in charge to cultivate crops and feed the world. They do not have the capacity of developing their system because of the North who exploit their resources by buying their exploitation in an under-price. For instance, Mexico is the main productor of meat in the world, but are considered like poor by the rest of the world. The majority of inhabitants live with a low income. I am sure that they can live in better way if others from the North gave them the opportunity to work with more respectfull conditions or by stopping to take their production with limit a free price. Thus, people will stop to immigrate and ask for a job somewhere else if they stop to take their resources unrespectfully. In conclusion, since a decenny many people start to leave their town to look at for a job, because they cannot find it in their location. The main reasons of this tragedy are on the one hand, because people are under-paid in their own country and on the other hand, they live in a worth condition.
Nowadays, wealth
countries
should give to
people
whose
come
from an unfortunate place, the opportunity to
work
with them. I argued that a graduate person should have the chance to
get
a
job
somewhere else,
because
he does not have this possibility in his
own
town. In this essay, I will discuss the question and give several reasons of my point-view.

First of all
, even if the graduate student had an occupation in his
country
, he would be under-paid.
Indeed
,
generally
, the majority of
people
who try to immigrate to another
country
is
because
they could not feed their family and
lived
in
good
ways. The
only
one solution for them is to
move
out.
For example
, after the
"
spring revolution
"
in Tunisia, the lifestyle
changed
a lot and the majority of
people
didn't have a
work
.
So
,
many
young
men
decided to immigrate in Europe where the salary was better and the policy more
respectfull
of its inhabitants.
However
, with
the vague of
immigration in Europe,
particularly
in France it becomes a polemic to receive
people
. They decided to close their border and to
expulse
actual residents even if they had a
job
.
Therefore
, I believe that rich
countries
, such as
countries
from Europe gives the chance to these
people
to
work
and
just
ask them why they are here. Perhaps, they will open their eyes and
see
that the sight is not pink all around the world.

Moreover
,
however
,
countries
from the
"
North
"
should
help
the
"
South
"
to develop their economy
instead
to exploit them.
Traditionally
, the south are in charge to cultivate crops and feed the world. They do not have the capacity of developing their system
because
of the North who exploit their resources by buying their exploitation in an under-price.
For instance
, Mexico is the main
productor
of meat in the world,
but
are considered
like poor by the rest of the world. The majority of inhabitants
live
with a low income. I am sure that they can
live
in better way if others from the North gave them the opportunity to
work
with more
respectfull
conditions or by stopping to take their production with limit a free price.
Thus
,
people
will
stop
to immigrate and
ask for
a
job
somewhere else if they
stop
to take their resources
unrespectfully
.

In conclusion
, since a
decenny
many
people
start
to
leave
their town to look at for a
job
,
because
they cannot find it in their location. The main reasons of this tragedy are on the one hand,
because
people
are under-paid in their
own
country
and
on the other hand
, they
live
in a worth condition.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay rich countries should aallow jobs for skilled and knowlegeable employers who are from poor coutries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
441 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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