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Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents v.1

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents v. 1
In fact, always better disciplines make a better human. It is understood that having more precise behavioural patterns is a key factor for a well built human being. So it is one of the key responsibilities of a high school to improve the students' disciplines, as most of the learning age of a child is spent over there in schools. But I do not agree with the fact that it is only the responsibility of schools, because children are more familiar and faithful to their parents. Nowadays, always news arises from schools regarding improper behaviours of children. It can be identified as that with children getting more exposed to the developed technologies and social events, they can be encouraged by those things to behave in unacceptable ways. So with these intents of children it is moreover to the parents to improve their children's disciplines. It is one of the most important responsibilities of the parents, and also it is much easier for a parent to teach them about those disciplines and how to behave in situations, because parents are their heroes and role models. So children love to hear from them. Although parents have the most portion of the responsibility in teaching the disciplines, teachers also have a key role in improving them. As most of the day time is spent with teachers, it is their responsibility to guide the students to behave in a delightful manner. Finally, after all these facts and details, it is clear that the parents have, the more responsibility over the teachers to teach their children about good disciplines and behavioural patterns.
In fact, always better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disciplines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better human. It
is understood
that having more precise
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
patterns is a key factor for a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well built
human being.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is one of the key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
of a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disciplines
, as most of the learning age of a child
is spent
over there in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the fact that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more familiar and faithful to their parents.

Nowadays, always news arises from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
regarding improper
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It can
be identified
as that with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
getting more exposed to the developed technologies and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, they can
be encouraged
by those things to behave in unacceptable ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
with these intents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
it is
moreover
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disciplines
. It is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, and
also
it is much easier for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to teach them about those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disciplines
and how to behave in situations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are their heroes and role models.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to hear from them.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the most portion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
in teaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disciplines
, teachers
also
have a key role in improving them. As most of the day time
is spent
with teachers, it is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to guide the students to behave
Consider replacing "in a delightful manner" with the adverb for "delightful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a delightful manner
.

Finally
,
after all
these facts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
over the teachers to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disciplines
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
patterns.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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