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Discipline is an ever-increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.4

Discipline is an ever-increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers while others think that this is the role of parents. v. 4
A disciplined child loved by everyone. It is essential to consider and enlighten good things. Some people believe that it is the duty of mentors. However, others think that parents play a vital role. In my opinion, both are responsible to shape the children behaviour and character. To begin with, some people consider that tutors are liable. There is no doubt that children gain a lot of positive things from the academy and the teachers. For instance, there are forty students in the class. Discipline is the same for all students. However, they cannot focus on individual students. Moreover, it is the ability of a toddler to catch the things. Furthermore, school timings are very limited. Apart from this, they also teach important subjects. On the other hand, some people say that parents play a significant part. In other words, they spend most of their time at home. For example, from the birth period of the schooling, they are at the house with their parents and the other peoples. At this stage, their mind is fresh. They have very good learning capability. Therefore, they can learn many things. In addition to this, the focus of the infant at home is more in contrast to institute and also many people are around to educate them on good and bad things. To conclude, scholars are important while school time. However, parents are core responsibilities because most of the pace a kid spends at home. Apart from this, both are responsible, according to time constraints.
A disciplined child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
by everyone. It is essential to consider and enlighten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is the duty of mentors.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play a vital role. In my opinion, both are responsible to shape the children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and character.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that tutors are liable. There is no doubt that children gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things from the academy and the teachers.
For instance
, there are forty students in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Discipline is the same for all students.
However
, they cannot focus on individual students.
Moreover
, it is the ability of a toddler to catch the things.
Furthermore
, school timings are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited. Apart from this, they
also
teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play a significant part. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they spend most of their time at home.
For example
, from the birth period of the schooling, they are at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
. At this stage, their mind is fresh. They have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
learning capability.
Therefore
, they can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.
In addition
to this, the focus of the infant at home is more
in contrast
to institute and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are around to educate them on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things.

To conclude
, scholars are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
while school time.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are core responsibilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the pace a kid spends at home. Apart from this, both are responsible, according to time constraints.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Discipline is an ever-increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers while others think that this is the role of parents. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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