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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing skill is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.6

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing skill is more important. v. 6
While some people are with the view that tertiary education is most important to grasp better employment opportunities, others think practical knowledge is more significant in this case. I strongly believe that higher education is required to manage handsome jobs. However, this essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, higher studies provides the pedagogical expertise that is required almost in every occupation. It is often seen in the job advertisements that employers are seeking employees who have specialization in certain field for the applied position. This is because, if the applicant with such knowledge is employed, that person can perform better for that position and acquire professional experiences quickly. Thus, having university degree facilitates an applicant to acquire better opportunities. For example, a recent survey conducted by Monster. com reveals that more than 60% of the service holders, who are working in the managerial positions, at least have a graduation. On the other hand, it is preferred to have hands on experience in some jobs. The reason behind that is the employees are needed to be technically sound to perform the associated tasks rather than having theoretical expertise. Therefore, recruiters give privilege to those job seekers for these vocational works who have enough practical experiences to perform such task before. Despite this, extensive studies is significant almost in all jobs to reach in the top level of the hierarchy whether it is vocational or knowledge based. For example, although a nurse might have many years of experience to handle patients, but cannot write a medical prescription because of not having core learning of medicine. In conclusion, although it is necessary to have theoretical expertise in maximum high level jobs, quite a few people think hands on experience is required to acquire them. Nevertheless, tertiary education is preferred to get appointed for standard occupation.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are with the view that tertiary education is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to grasp better employment opportunities, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
practical knowledge is more significant
in this case
. I
strongly
believe that higher education
is required
to manage handsome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
However
, this essay will discuss both views.

On the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, higher studies provides the pedagogical expertise that
is required
almost in every occupation. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
advertisements that employers are seeking employees who have specialization in certain field for the applied position. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, if the applicant with such knowledge
is employed
, that person can perform better for that position and acquire professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
quickly
.
Thus
, having university degree facilitates an applicant to acquire better opportunities.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by Monster.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
reveals that more than 60% of the service holders, who are working in the managerial positions, at least have a graduation.

On the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, it
is preferred
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. The reason behind
that is
the employees
are needed
to be
technically
sound to perform the associated tasks
rather
than having theoretical expertise.
Therefore
, recruiters give privilege to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers for these vocational works who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
to perform such task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Despite this, extensive studies is significant almost in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to reach in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
of the hierarchy whether it is vocational or knowledge based.
For example
, although a nurse might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to handle patients,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot write a medical prescription
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not having core learning of medicine.

In conclusion
, although it is necessary to have theoretical expertise in maximum high level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, quite a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is required
to acquire them.
Nevertheless
, tertiary education
is preferred
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
appointed for standard occupation.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing skill is more important. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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