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Smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 4
Children often misbehave and when they do that many parents smack them to teach them a ‘lesson’. In my opinion, this behaviour is completely unacceptable. Smacking traumatises children and may even lead to more behavioural problems. There are many reasons why parents feel that smacking is the best form of discipline. To begin with, many of them are under the wrong impression that children will get the point if they are smacked for bad behaviour. This, according to some parents, will discourage them from repeating the bad behaviour. Some parents also want to have absolute control over their children and often resort to this barbaric practice to show them who is in charge of the household. Unfortunately, smacking does not help with the behavioural issues in children. In fact, it makes their problems worse. Studies have shown that children who grow up in households where they are regularly subjected to smacking and other forms of physical violence are more likely to grow into rebellious teenagers. They start to detest their elders and may also develop a hatred for authority. Of course, when parents spank their children, this is not the end result they are hoping to achieve. Having said that, it is important to discipline children. Behavioural problems need to be dealt with but instead of resorting to physical violence parents should set an example for their children. Children learn a lot by watching and imitating adults. If parents behave appropriately at all times, children will consciously or unconsciously copy their behaviour and that will solve the issue. To conclude, children are our future and we must raise them with love, patience and tolerance. Good parenting and physical violence cannot co-exist. Therefore, in my opinion, smacking children must be forbidden and parents who still resort to this practice must be severely punished by the law.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
misbehave and when they do that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
smack them to teach them a ‘lesson’. In my opinion, this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is completely unacceptable. Smacking
Possible spelling mistake. 'traumatises' is British English.
traumatises
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and may even lead to more
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
problems.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel that smacking is the best form of discipline. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are under the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
impression that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the point if they
are smacked
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. This, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, will discourage them from repeating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
want to have absolute control over their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
resort to this barbaric practice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them who is in charge of the household.

Unfortunately, smacking does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
issues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In fact, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their problems worse. Studies have shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who grow up in households where they are
regularly
subjected to smacking and other forms of physical violence are more likely to grow into rebellious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to detest their elders and may
also
develop a hatred for authority.
Of course
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spank their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, this is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
result they are hoping to achieve.

Having said that, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to discipline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Behavioural' is British English.
Behavioural
problems need to
be dealt
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
of resorting to physical violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should set an example for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
learn a lot by watching and imitating adults. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
behave
appropriately
at all times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
consciously
or
unconsciously
copy their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and that will solve the issue.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
future and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
raise them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, patience and tolerance.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
parenting and physical violence cannot co-exist.
Therefore
, in my opinion, smacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be forbidden
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who
still
resort to this practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
severely
punished by the law.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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