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smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 3
It is often believed that children are sometimes difficult to handle. Some people claim that the best way to discipline their children is by spanking them. My essay will argue why beating up children is totally a wrong approach to instill discipline on them. Some parents are certain that their children behave better if they are corrected by smacking them. They believe these children are afraid of being tortured and therefore try to stay away from bad habits. Others naturally think that they can control their children from throwing unnecessary tantrums if spanked. For instance a parent might spank a child if he refuses to be apologetic for his unruly behaviour his use of inappropriate words on others. These few reasons are why most parents feel the best way to train up a child and instill discipline is by hitting them. The traditional method of beating children might be some parents approach to teach them. Furthermore, smacking children as a form of correction is totally wrong and unacceptable. Children learn faster where they feel love, therefore inflicting physical pain on them only makes them aggressive and stubborn. In conclusion, children should not be flogged because, they are precious gifts from God.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
difficult to handle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the best way to discipline their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is by spanking them. My essay will argue why beating up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
totally
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
approach to instill discipline on them.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are certain that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
behave better if they
are corrected
by smacking them. They believe these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are afraid of
being tortured
and
therefore
try to stay away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits. Others
naturally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they can control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from throwing unnecessary tantrums if spanked.
For instance
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
might spank a child if he refuses to be apologetic for his
unruly
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of inappropriate words on others. These few reasons are why most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel the best way to train up a child and instill discipline is by hitting them.

The traditional method of beating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
approach to teach them.
Furthermore
, smacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as a form of correction is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and unacceptable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
learn faster where they feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
,
therefore
inflicting physical pain on them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them aggressive and stubborn.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
be flogged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they are precious gifts from God.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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