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Smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 2
Nowadays, most parents are disciplining their children through physical punishment. Some people believe that the effective way to discipline their children is by smacking them. This essay will argue that physical punishment such as smacking is not the best way to guide children. Parents believe that by punishing their children physically would give them the best form of discipline. Perhaps, they are strongly convinced that by way of physical disciplining, their children will have fear on repeating such bad behavior and would learn from it. For instance, a parent slaps the back of the hand of the child, for a reason that the child thrown a glass of milk and broke. For these reasons, parents considered physical punishment as the most effective way to discipline their child. However, despite most parents consider physical punishment as a form of discipline, it has bad effects for children too. Some parents smack their child, out of sheer frustration and anger. There are other positive parenting techniques they can use instead. Children can sense fear, and discipline can be reinforce by words and there is no need for further pain to be inflicted. In fact, some of the countries banned the parents to do physical punishments and there are laws that were implemented. In conclusion, this essay argued that parents who punished their child physically is not an acceptable way to discipline them. In my opinion, I strongly believe that children can be discipline through reinforcing words without further inflicting pain as a punishment.
Nowadays, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are disciplining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the effective way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is by smacking them. This essay will argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
such as smacking is not the best way to guide children.

Parents believe that by punishing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
physically
would give them the best form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
. Perhaps, they are
strongly
convinced that by way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
disciplining, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have fear on repeating such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior and would learn from it.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
slaps the back of the hand of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, for a reason that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
thrown a glass of milk and broke. For these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as the most effective way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
their child.

However
, despite most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as a form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
smack their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, out of sheer frustration and anger. There are other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
parenting techniques they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
instead
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can sense fear, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
can be
Consider using the past participle "reinforced"?
reinforce
by words and there is no need for
further
pain to
be inflicted
. In fact,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
countries banned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
and there are laws that
were implemented
.

In conclusion
, this essay argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who punished their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
physically
is not an acceptable way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
them.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my opinion, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
through reinforcing words without
further
inflicting pain as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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